Getting in the Mood
Prepare anything you need to bring. If you’re not sure what to bring, ask your host. They may tell you not to bring anything out of politeness. In this case, respect their request; although, you could still give them a card or a thoughtful note. If you can’t bring a gift, a bottle of wine or vase of flowers are good options. Potluck: a dish to share. Birthday party or baby shower: a gift suitable for the recipient. Dinner party: a bottle of wine or a hostess gift. Casual high school or college parties: no gift, unless specified.
Get energized. Try to get plenty of rest the night before the party. That way, you’ll be able to stay up late if it’s a late night party. Even if it’s a daytime party, you still want to have the energy to be sociable and feel your best. Some people will drink coffee or another caffeinated beverage before going out for a late night party. Eat a protein-packed meal before going out. Even if there will be food at the party, you don’t want to arrive starving.
Listen to music. Listening to some of your favorite music is the perfect way to get excited about a party. It can get you energized and ready to dance, or just put you in a good mood. You can listen to music while you’re getting dressed, or while you’re driving to the party! Sing along. You’ll feel confident and expressive, which is a great way to feel when you arrive at a party.
Plan for socializing. Think about who will be at the party and how you want to interact with them. This can be especially useful if you’re shy or don’t go out very much. You can make small goals, such as, “I will talk to two new people,” or “I will introduce myself to my new coworker that I have a crush on.” You can even practice in the mirror if you’re really shy. Practice introducing yourself to someone by saying, “Hi, I’m ___. How do you know the host?” Think of topics you can talk about with other guests. Do you follow current events? Have you been working on an interesting project? Can you share a humorous story about the host?
Decide when you’ll arrive. Usually, it’s assumed that people will arrive at a party a little bit after it’s supposed to start. This is called being “fashionably late.” If you’re shy, you may want to arrive well after the party has started so that you can avoid having to make conversation if there are only a couple of people there early on. Don't be late to dinner parties, children’s parties, or parties where a space has been rented for the occasion. Doing so is considered to be rude. Aim to arrive on time.
Choosing What to Wear
Decide what to wear. You’ll want to plan your outfit at least partly based on what type of party it is. For example, you wouldn’t wear the same outfit to a cocktail party that you would to a Memorial Day barbecue. Choose something that’s appropriate to the occasion but that you feel comfortable and good in. Look at the invitation for clues about what to wear. Some invitations may say something like, “black tie optional” or “space-age theme!” If the invitation doesn’t say what to wear, it's always fine to ask the host to find out what’s appropriate. If you’re worried about the weather, ask: “Will the party be indoors or outdoors?” If you're still not sure what to wear, you really can't go wrong with dressy casual—like a pair of skinny or straight leg jeans, great heels, a lace cami, and a blazer. Then, you could accessorize that with a statement necklace or earrings.
Dress appropriately for a formal party or event. Even for formal parties and gatherings, there is a spectrum of what is expected. The event might be semi-formal, business formal, white tie, black tie, black tie optional, or creative black tie. Find out which style is appropriate for the event before you choose your outfit. Black tie: women will wear long evening gowns and men will wear black tuxedos. White tie: women should wear long evening gowns and men should wear black dress coats (tailcoats) with matching pants that have a single satin stripe (US) or double satin stripe (EU and UK). Business formal: both men and women should wear suits. Creative black tie: women can wear shorter dresses, such as cocktail dresses. Men may wear more whimsical or trendy items, such as colorful cummerbunds.
Plan a fun outfit for a casual get-together. A casual get together may be truly casual, such as a neighborhood potluck or barbecue. It can also be "business casual" which is very different. Dress appropriately for however casual the event will be. For men, business casual can mean going without a suit jacket, or wearing dark jeans instead of suit pants. For women, dressy casual means wearing nice shoes such as heels or classy flats with a tailored shirt and dressy pants or a nice skirt. For a truly casual party, wear something you feel comfortable in and that you're excited to show off to a larger social group.
Think about what you should wear if you are a kid. Kids are sometimes invited to adult parties, such as wedding receptions or holiday parties. However, they're most often invited to parties with and for other children. Even as a kid, you want to dress appropriately for the occasion. For another kid's birthday, wear the same thing you'd wear to the park or school. Something that's comfortable and can get dirty is ideal. For a formal gathering or a holiday party, wear clothing that reflects the style of the party: suits for boys and fancy dresses for girls. If there will be swimming or other kinds of water fun at the party, bring a bathing suit!
Consider how to dress for different seasons or weather. Parties are sometimes held outside.This can be true of barbecues, weddings, garden parties and more. Make sure to dress appropriately for the occasion while keeping the weather in mind. If it's a summer event, dress in light clothes. You don't want to sweat through your outfit or feel overheated. If the event is in winter, wear a coat or sweater. Make sure that matches your outfit in case you to put it on during the party. For holiday parties, be sure to dress festively, emphasizing holiday colors.
Ask your friends for ideas on what to wear. Whether or not your friends will be attending the party, they probably have good ideas of what would be appropriate. Ask one or two friends whose opinions you trust. You can even post a photo of your outfit on social media to get your friends' opinions!
Getting Dressed
Shower and groom yourself. Everyone has different routines for before they go out. Do whatever makes you feel fresh and confident. Start with a shower and then complete any other grooming routines you need to do. Brush your teeth if you've already eaten a snack or are planning to wait to eat at the party. If it's a dinner party, you may want to do this about an hour or so before your shower (depending on how far away the place is), so the toothpaste taste doesn't linger while you're eating. Do your hair and makeup if you wear it. You may want to shave. If you're wearing a long or 3/4 sleeve top and/or long pants, you probably could get away without shaving your legs/armpits if you don't want to. You may want to clean or polish your nails. Or, you may have had those professionally done earlier in the day or week. Parties are great opportunities for perfume or cologne. Wearing a scent can give you a little extra boost of confidence, but a little goes a long way. For best results, spray directly in front of you, then quickly step under the mist.
Put on your outfit. Now that you’re clean and feeling fresh, you can put on the clothes you’ve already laid out. Check yourself out in the mirror and make sure everything fits the way that you imagined. Take the time you need to make sure the outfit is comfortable enough to wear throughout the party. Make any changes that you think you need. You don’t want to feel uncomfortable or unconfident at a fun party. Ensure your footwear and accessories go well with your outfit and are appropriate for the party. Don’t want to wear sneakers to a fancy gala, or high heels to a bowling party. You may want to bring a jacket, scarf, or umbrella, depending on the weather.
Pack the necessities. You’ll want to bring your phone, some money, and your ID to the party. You may also bring other things, depending on the type of party. However, make sure you have whatever you’ll need for the night. Bring enough money to get home, especially if you need to pay for an expensive cab ride at the last minute. If you think that you might be dancing or putting your bag down, only bring the bare necessities. That way, you won’t have to keep track of a bulky bag and you won’t risk losing something important.
Planning with Friends
Talk to friends who are going. Going to a party is always more fun with friends. Find out if other friends are going and ask what their plans are. They may want to travel together, have dinner beforehand, or make other plans with you. If the party has an online invitation, you may be able to see who’s been invited and who’s going. Be sensitive when asking if a friend is going. Remember that they may not have been invited and might not even know about the party.
Invite friends if you can. Some parties are small and by invitation only. However, some parties are given with the idea that the more people come, the more fun the party will be. If the party is open to all, ask a friend or two if they’d like to join you. With more intimate parties, hosts often expect that invited guests will bring one person who is their date. Check with the host if this is the case, and invite a date to come with you if appropriate. If you’re not sure whether it’s okay to invite others to the party, ask the host. Let your friend know what to expect. For example, if the party has a theme or a dress code, make sure your friend knows so that they can dress appropriately.
Make transportation plans. You need to know how you’ll get to and from the party. If you plan to drink alcohol at the party, this is especially important, since you’ll want to have a designated driver or a plan that includes public transportation, a cab, or another safe means of getting home. Ask your friends about their plans. Does one of them want to be the designated driver? Do they live within walking distance of the party? If so, maybe you could crash on their couch afterward. Red the public transportation schedule if you plan to use it. If the party goes late, make sure that you’ll still be able to make the last bus or train. Keep the phone number for a taxi service with you in case you end up needing it. Check with your friends before the party whether or not you’ll leave together. This way, if you lose track of each other during the party, you'll already know what the plan is.
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