Blister
Someone who appears when the work is done and takes credit. This individual loves coasting with the victory even when they have nothing to do with it. Whether intentional or not, they’ll pretend they played a part in the task. They’ll likely even slap their name on the project even if they didn’t contribute anything.
Butterfingers
Someone who drops everything. This coworker’s fingers must be made of butter because they can’t go a day (or even an hour) without dropping something! Maybe it’s a pen at their desk or a cup of coffee in the break room. Either way, you wouldn’t trust them with the most fragile office supplies.
Butter Knife
Someone who isn’t the sharpest. This coworker isn’t the sharpest tool in the toolbox. There’s not much going on upstairs. Maybe they’re a bit dull to talk to or just don’t contribute much to the team. Either way, they’re not the brightest.
Daisy
Someone who works one day and not the next. This coworker is a “daisy” because some days they work and some days they don’t. The first word that likely comes to mind when you think of them is “lazy” or “inconsistent.”
Deck Chair
Someone who folds under pressure. Have a coworker who always panics when they have a deadline or are called on the spot? If so, they’re likely a Deck Chair. They can’t handle the heat and likely try to hide when there’s too much pressure or stress on them. You could also call this person Chairman—same meaning!
Dr. Do Little
Someone who does very little at work. This coworker does exactly what this nickname suggests—little! If they don’t get much work done (if any at all), this is the perfect name for them.
E.T.
Someone who always wants to go home. Like the 80s blockbuster hit, this coworker wants to phone home. They’re always whining or complaining about whether the workday is over and constantly asking for days off. Moral of the story? They love being home!
Glowstick
Someone you want to break and shake until they work. Like a glowstick, you just want to shake this coworker until they snap into shape! They might be lazy, disorganized, or inconsiderate. No matter the issue, you need to give them a few shakes to remind them of their job.
Handle with Care
Someone who overreacts and gets upset over little things. This coworker must be handled with care, or they’ll shatter—just like a box of fragile glass. Saying the wrong thing or assigning them a simple task could tip them over the edge.
Invisible Man
Someone who disappears when there’s work to be done. This colleague doesn’t want to help whatsoever. If you’re put on a team with them, you know they’ll vanish out of thin air and leave everything up to you.
Justin
Someone who put in just enough work to avoid being fired. As the name suggests, this person does “just” enough work to skim by. They don’t go above and beyond but also don’t put in anything. While they may not be the best employee, there’s nothing you can say against their adequate work ethic.
KitKat
Someone who’s always taking a break. Like a KitKat candy bar, this coworker is always ready for a break. When they can’t be found, they’re likely in the breakroom. When they’re not on a break, they’re likely talking about going on a break. Their favorite thing about work? Breaks.
Lantern
Someone who’s not very bright. This coworker isn’t exactly the smartest on the team or in the office. Perhaps they’re always making foolish mistakes, have terrible ideas, or never know what they’re talking about. All in all, they’re not the most intelligent.
Moses
Someone who takes a long time to finish a simple task. This colleague takes forever to do even the simplest of things. Make a copy? Takes all day. Call a client? It’ll take an hour just for them to find the phone number. This coworker will try to cross the Red Sea for anything, just like Moses.
Motion Light
Someone who only works when someone walks past. Like a motion light, this individual only puts in an effort when someone else is near. This can look like shopping online to look “busy” and quickly switching to a different tab when the boss walks past. If you have two Motion Lights at work, try referring to one as Sensor Light—it has the same meaning!
Night Light
Someone who’s a little dim. A coworker who’s smart but not the smartest of the group is perfect for this nickname! Like a night light, they give off a little bit of light or insight, but they’re not as bright as an overhead light. They have a good idea occasionally, but they’re mostly there to help guide and follow the rest of the team.
Seagull Manager
Someone who flies in, makes everything worse, and flies out. Think of this coworker as a seagull at the beach, and your project is a bag of French fries. They’ll suddenly swoop in to “help,” only to knock the bag of fries out of your hand and make a giant mess. They’ll eat a few fries and then disappear. In other words, this coworker just messes up your progress.
Seaweed
Someone who floats around (and possibly stinks). This colleague wanders about without a care in the world—just like a tangle of seaweed! They meander and go wherever the tide (work day) takes them. And it’s very possible that they’re a bit stinky.
Shaggy
Someone who’s never in the wrong. Like the classic Scooby-Doo character, this coworker always exclaims, “It wasn’t me!” They’re likely to fall off a task or are constantly caught up in mistakes. You rarely catch them taking the blame, whether it was their fault or not.
Splinter
Someone who’s simply annoying. Like a splinter, this coworker is a pain in the butt! They may not do anything atrocious at work, but they can’t help but annoy you. Their annoyances are so tiny, though, that you may not even recognize them right away.
Teflon
Someone who doesn’t retain information. Teflon is the material used to create non-stick products, and like a non-stick pan, nothing sticks to this coworker. No matter how a task or idea is explained, they just don’t get it.
Time Clock
Someone you want to knock out. Do you have a coworker that you just want to slap silly? If so, they’re a Time Clock! They make you so angry that you want to give them a good punch in the nose (respectfully, of course).
Wheelbarrow
Someone who only works when pushed. Like a wheelbarrow, this coworker needs a nudge or strong push to get moving. They need constant validation and help to get a task done; they need guidance.
Zeus
Someone who puts in zero effort unless they’re supervised. This nickname is unique because it’s an acronym! ZEUS stands for Zero Effort Unless Supervised and is perfect for individuals who only put it in the work when the boss is around.
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