After years of silence, Bollywood actor Hrithik Roshan has finally opened up about the Kangana Ranaut row. Post his elaborate post on Facebook wherein he urged people not to term the controversy as a lovers-spat, the actor opened up in an interview with the Republic TV.
When asked why he decided to stay silent for this long, the actor confessed that he feared his words would be misconstrued, but now he feels his prolonged silence was interpreted as his weakness.
"I've just had enough, I need to say what I want to say. Enough of I don't know what word to choose, I cannot describe it, but it has... I realise that I have been pretending because I have to live up to this star.. thing of mine that I've got to look on for it, I've got to be cool and be okay and not give any attention to something that is not important," he said in his recent interview.
"After a while, I realized that I was pretending. It was affecting me. It was affecting my sense of community, it was affecting my sense of well being, and I said now I am pretending... That's not being hero, that's not strength, its fake. I had to do something about this. It's about time," he added.
Post the continuous mud-slinging between the two, the actor finally decided to speak as he thought he won't allow "my mind and my heart to say what it wants to say and allow the pieces to fall where they may."
"I was also very very afraid. I have been afraid that my words would be misconstrued. If I come across as strong, they might turn me as aggressive, if I might show some emotion, they might turn me as weak, if I may sound vulnerable, they'll say 'Oh, maybe he is looking for sympathy' and the list goes on."
"It has been very confusing, it has been a dilemma in my head, but you know if I am walking down the street and a person abuses me, the dignified stronger thing to do is to keep walking."
"He doesn't affect my life but if that person starts hurtling stones into my home and affects the well-being of me and my family, then that silence is no longer strength, that silence then becomes weakness. It has been four years, I think I have had enough."
He also said that there have been lots of times in the past when he thought he should tell his truth, but people stopped him. "I don't want to blame it on the people but I was advised to stop. This is probably the only situation that has caused me to shift my center. I'm usually very stable. But in that state of mind, to come out and talk about it was not advisable. It's not that I'm too comfortable right now but sometimes you've to grow up and realise that some things just need to be done."
Hrithik also pointed out that he isn't somebody who fights. "I’ve never had a single fight in my life. Neither with a man nor with a girl. Even in my divorce, there was no fight."
Sharing that he first met Kangana in 2008 when they started shooting for Kites, he also clarified that they never became good friends. "Not just through Kites, but through Krish as well, I found her to be extremely professional. To the extent that I was really really proud of her. She came with her dialogues and with enough preparation whether it was a stunt or a scene - she was giving that camera everything she had. And this was for my movies."
"Some actor giving so much to my film, it's more than I can ask for. I was extremely proud of her and I think I mentioned it to her a lot of times," he said.
"She even told me she was very inspired by me when she was 8-9 years old, she saw my picture in some newspaper when she was in Manali and she wanted to become an actor because of me. The other exchanges we had were for her language. I used to tell her my stories and they used to empower her more," he added.
He also explained how his father Rakesh Roshan approached Kangana for Krrish 3 and explained to her the importance of the character.
Comprehending if any of his acts including the complimentary exchanges and smiles led Kangana on, Hrithik said, "Ït's like when you're the host and it's your party, you'll be extra nice."
He also added that he found Kangana to be a very shy person. "We never got to a point where we had a proper conversation."
"Those were all moments of celebrations. I'm a very proud person when my team is working together towards a vision and to have that support from my actors was very encouraging," he added while pointing out the birthday parties.
He also added that the party was held during the production of the film and that's why she was invited and stood by his stand that he'd never met Kangana one on one in his entire life.
"We were at the wrap party for Krrish 3 in Jordan. I was going to retire for the night when she came up to me and wanted to have a chat about her life choices. I told her I was tired, let's talk in the morning. I went back to my room and ordered room service and then I heard a knock on my door. I looked through the peephole and it was Kangana. I didn't think she was in the right state. So my assistant got Rangoli to come and take back Kangana to her room. The next day, Rangoli apologised and I told her it's okay."
When the news of the 2014-Paris proposal started doing the rounds, Hrithik said that he was actually a bit relieved as here was a lie that could be easily demolished.
"It's disgraceful - he said, she said. It was such a hostile environment. Who'd give me the right platform? You think I haven't tried. Anything and everything I did was used against me, even this interview will somehow be used against me. I wanted to, I've written some 20 blogs about this and I shared it with some friends and they said, "Hrithik you can't do that, you just can't. You are a huge star. But I didn't understand what being a star has got to do with being a human that I am."
"I've had to go through a lot of emotions and I'm not willing to share them with you. They're mine and I own them. I don't think I'm going to be able to describe or expect anyone to understand."
When asked about his next meeting with Kangana, the actor explained that after the Krrish 3 promotions, he only met Kangana in 2014 at Karan Johar's birthday party. Citing that she got a little angry when she thanked him for his honest feedback on Queen and he told her that he hasn't seen the film yet, he said, "She moved away and I followed her and asked if she was okay and if there's anything I could to help. She ignored and I forgot about it. I didn't think much of it thinking she had made some mistake."
"The next day, I woke up and got a barrage of messages from her on my blackberry and the last message I got from her was on my birthday where she said I've sent you a gift you haven't replied. Hope you've received it," he said while explaining that all other messages from that night were Hindi abusive words.
"Ï thought somebody has got hold of her phone and they were playing a prank," he added.
"I didn't think it was her until I opened my mail and saw a mail from Rangoli. I started to read that and I was completely disoriented. I had just woken up and couldn't understand what was going on. She accused me of hacking her sister's mail and then forcing her to shoot some videos and stuff. It took me 10 minutes to understand that the mail wasn't from my ID."
This is when Hrithik consulted his IT team and cyber crime department and he was advised that he shouldn't use his mail to answer back but should pass on the message saying that if they could get the original mail, it was possible to catch the imposter.
But Rangoli responded with a shocking accusation saying, "You've been emotionally and psychologically raping Kangana," and that's when Hrithik decided to keep away from the matter. "That's when I switched off. I did not want to associate or be a part of any more exchanges after hearing that word. No dignified person, even if they're going through some stress, would accuse you with such harsh word. I had a good working relationship with this person. I had nothing to do with this. I wished it away. I chose not to involve myself in it."
It was on July 13 that another e-mail popped up in which Kangana allegedly promised to keep the interactions under wraps and also expressed a desire in going to Prague. "These were not the first mails though. The first mails started with 'I miss you', then some explicit mails and then this particular one. It started with 1, then 10, then 15. I got scared and started sending them to junk," he said.
He added that he read about 40-50 out of 3000 emails and that could not block the e-mails or the sender as there was no option of doing so in a Macbook Pro.
"But in 2016, the harassment became public and mentioned how I was a silly ex. If you read the content of the mail, it recounts the happenings of her day, of what she did the entire day, what she ate, who she met and the pictures. And hacking is not something common. But how can I send myself those private pictures that she herself has taken?" he explained how it possibly cannot be him who had sent those mails."
He also explained how there have been situations about him receiving random emails from obsessive people. "My higher understanding of life has taught me that ignorance is the best way forward. And this is not the first time, I’ve been sent mails of this nature. I’ve learned in the past that my ignorance discouraged it, and that is what I thought would happen now."
(With inputs from IANS)
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