How to Improve Your Relationship: Your Most Common Questions Answered

What are the 5 most important things in a relationship?

Every relationship is different. What you value most in a relationship might be different from what someone else values. However, most healthy relationships share a few common traits. These include trust, respect, good communication, a meaningful emotional connection, and mutual independence. Mutual independence means that both of you have outside relationships and interests that you maintain. For instance, you might each spend 1 night a week with friends or might spend time alone working on a hobby.

How can you keep a relationship going?

Focus on your shared interests and mutual care for each other. From there, find new ways to spend time together and communicate daily. Finally, accept your partner as they are instead of trying to change them, and expect them to accept you for you. Try to focus more on your commonalities rather than your differences.

How do you make a relationship stronger?

Spend quality time together just having fun. Additionally, try new things together to help you grow as one. Be a good listener when your partner is talking, and tell them exactly what you need in your relationship. Finally, build intimacy with your partner by kissing, hugging, and caressing them, as well as opening up about your feelings. Both physical and emotional intimacy are important. Don’t forget to be open and honest with your partner. When it comes to intimacy, take your time. Don’t feel pressured to do anything you aren’t ready for.

What is give-and-take in a relationship?

A good relationship takes compromise. There will be times when you want different things. Learn what’s important to your partner so you can help them meet their needs. Also, talk to your partner about what you need from them so your needs are being met. Work with your partner so you’re both happy. There will likely be times when you both make small sacrifices to make each other happy. For instance, you might turn down an invitation to a party to take your partner out for their birthday. Similarly, they may skip a hangout with their friends to attend a social event with you.

How do you show your partner you appreciate them?

You can simply tell them you’re happy they’re in your life. Additionally, say “Thank you” when your partner does something nice for you or takes care of a shared responsibility, like washing the dishes. You might also give them a hug, kiss, or small token of your appreciation. For instance, you might buy your partner a cookie while you’re picking up takeout. Similarly, you could send them a sweet text saying you love them.

How do you improve the romance in your relationship?

There are a lot of different things you can try! Tell your partner how much you appreciate them, pepper them with compliments, and talk about your feelings. Additionally, do something fun with them that you both enjoy. You might also try doing something special for them, like planning a surprise or buying them a small gift. You don’t need to make a big or expensive gesture to make your partner feel special. You might leave love notes for them to find or pick a flower from your yard.

What can you do to improve communication?

Start by being totally open and honest with your partner. Then, be an active listener when your partner is talking, and repeat back to them what you heard so you’re on the same page. Watch your partner’s body language to see if they’re receptive to what you have to say or not. Finally, try to keep your conversations focused on the present and future, not problems you’ve had in the past. Your partner may not be receptive to what you’re saying if they’re looking away or have their arms folded over their chest. If you notice this, stop talking and ask them what’s wrong.

How do you build intimacy?

Create physical intimacy through touching. Hold hands, cuddle, hug, kiss, and, if you’re ready, have sex. Build emotional intimacy by talking about your day and how you’re feeling. Slowly share bits of your past so you get to know each other better. Intimacy is really important in a relationship, and it helps you feel closer together. However, it’s up to you and your partner to decide what feels right to you, so don’t feel like you need to do anything that makes you uncomfortable, whether it’s getting physical too fast or opening up too quickly.

How do you discuss problems in your relationship without fighting?

Use "I" statements. This will keep the focus on your feelings and prevent your partner from getting defensive. Additionally, avoid criticising your partner by focusing on what they’re doing right, not what you don’t like. When your partner talks, listen to what they have to say without interrupting them, and be open to what they’re telling you. Ask questions if you’re not sure what they’re trying to say.

How do I cope with jealousy in my relationship?

Try to figure out why you’re jealous. Examine your past and your current relationship. Acknowledge that you’re feeling jealous and see if you can learn from the experience. Then, talk to people you trust to get support and remind yourself of everything wonderful about you. Finally, do your best to let the feelings of jealousy go. There’s probably a reason why you’re jealous. It’s possible you were hurt or abandoned in the past or you may have felt criticized by someone. However, it’s also possible your partner hasn’t created a solid foundation of trust. Figuring out your “why” will help you reach your solution.

What do you do if your partner isn’t making time for you?

Tell your partner that you're feeling a bit neglected. Then, give them specific examples of why you feel like they aren't making time for you. Listen to their take on the issue and try to see things from their perspective. Finally, ask for them to spend more time with you and suggest a few date ideas for the near future. You might say, “Lately I haven’t felt like a priority. You’ve been spending a lot more time at work and playing video games than you were before. How do you feel about how much time we’re spending together?” After they share their thoughts, you might say, “I really want us to spend more time together. Do you think we could go out for dinner this Friday?” If your partner still won't make time for you, it's possible your relationship isn't a good match. While moving on may be painful, it could open the door for you to find someone who will make time for you.

How do you get your partner to stop doing something that hurts you?

If your partner is hurting you, it may be best to leave. If they're not being abusive and you want to stay, ask your partner to go to counseling with you. It’s likely that the pain they’re causing you is making it hard for you to trust them. Talking about what’s going on and what you both need to make your relationship work may help. Look for a couple’s counselor online. Abuse is never okay, whether it's physical, verbal, or emotional abuse. If your partner is abusing you, talk to someone you trust to get help.

What should you do if you suspect your partner is cheating?

First, try to figure out why you think they’re cheating. For instance, they might be acting secretive or being less affectionate. Then, talk to them about your concerns and pay attention to how they react. Give them a chance to explain what’s going on. If you still have doubts, it might be time to consider counseling or a breakup. Try to resist the urge to spy on your partner, as this does more harm than good. Try to give them their privacy.