Classic MASH Categories
Future Home (MASH) This is the only must-have category in our book, since it gives the game its name! “MASH” stands for “Mansion, Apartment, Shack, House.” So, those would be the standard options for this category in the game. If you wanted to switch things up, here are some other stand-in options for “types of homes” that still fit the acronym: M: Mansion, Monastery, Manor, Modular Home. A: Apartment, Aquarium, Anthill, Aviary. S: Shack, Ship, Studio Apartment, Stable. H: House, Haunted Castle, Houseboat, Hut.
Car or Vehicle In this category, you’ll decide how you and your family will get around town on a daily basis. You can go with standard vehicle options—like cars and bikes—or mix it up with unconventional vehicles. Here are some examples: Volkswagen Bug Minivan Monster truck Magic carpet E-Scooter Pink convertible Rollerskates Garbage truck Limousine Spaceship Yacht Hot air balloon
Future Spouse For this category, you can use people you know in real life, celebrity crushes, or a mix of both! This might depend on who you’re playing with (and how willing you are to share your crushes with them…). While we have no way of knowing who you would/wouldn’t want to marry in real life, here are some examples of fictional and real-life people who could belong in your “future spouse” category: Ryan Reynolds Post Malone Zendaya Taylor Swift Jeff Bezos Simone Biles Jack Sparrow Wednesday Addams Prince Eric Hermione Granger
Career or Job For your future career, make sure to include a combo of jobs you would want and jobs you absolutely wouldn’t want. This depends on your personality and what your aspirations are, but here are some examples you might be able to use: Teacher Doctor Actor Musician Video game designer Janitor Ice cream taste tester Plumber Mechanic Nurse Barista
Number of Kids Ah yes, another iconic MASH category where you might end up with zero kids…or a very realistic 1000 kids. Your best bet in this numerical category is to use a wide range of numbers. If you want, you could also specify the genders for each listed option under the category (i.e., 1 Boy, 1 Girl, 2 Boys + 2 Girls, 1000 Girls, etc.). Here’s an example of what a set of options under this category might look like in the game: 0 2 5 10 25 100
Location “Location” usually refers to where you’ll be living in your future life. This could be a city, state, or country. Or, it could be a fantastical far-off land (like Atlantis, for instance). You could go super broad (e.g., “inside a volcano”) or very specific (e.g., “the corner of Sunset & Vine in L.A.”). Like all MASH categories, you want to do a combo of desirable and undesirable (for you) living locations. Here are some more examples: Atlanta, Georgia Barcelona, Spain Des Moines, Iowa Tokyo, Japan Panem (The Hunger Games) Middle-earth (The Lord of the Rings) Shangri-La El Dorado The Moon
Pet Who wouldn’t want a furry friend for their future self? In this category, list ordinary pets—like dogs, cats, and birds—alongside more unique animals. For example, you could use unconventional pet ideas (i.e., animals that aren’t typically domesticated), or even animals that don’t actually exist. Here are some ideas: Chihuahua Black cat Parrot Dragon Llama Swordfish Unicorn Piglet Sugar glider Pet rock Robot dog
Creative MASH Categories
Salary Who cares if you live in a mansion if you don’t have any money to maintain it?? The Salary category can decide whether you’ll be living more-than-comfortably (in a shack or otherwise), or living paycheck to paycheck (which is okay, too!). Here’s an example set for this category: $10k/year $30k/year $60k/year $100k/year $1 million/year $10 billion/year
Spouse’s Job You might already know what your job will be, but what about your spouse’s job? This can give you a better overall picture of what your “future life” will look like. From funny to realistic, here are some career ideas for your fantasy boo: Lawyer Astronaut Pop star Professional hockey player Tech mogul Architect Chef Fortune cookie writer Clown Dog walker
Wedding Venue I mean, if you have a spouse, you must’ve gotten married at some point! If you’re passionate about your future wedding plans, divining your venue could be a fun addition to the MASH game. Here are some potential marriage spots to tie the knot and include under this category: Historic mansion Vineyard Rustic barn Industrial warehouse Art museum Ski lodge Island resort Magic treehouse Underwater hotel National park campsite Haunted house UFO Submarine Circus Coachella
Honeymoon Alright, so you’ve had your future wedding to your future spouse at your future wedding venue—now where are you going on your honeymoon? From not-so-romantic spots (e.g., your elementary school playground) to incredibly romanticized destinations (e.g., Paris), here are some ideas for your MASH honeymoon: Bali Morocco The Amalfi Coast Costa Rica Kenya NYC The DMV The International Space Station Every Costco in America The North Pole Camping in your backyard
Hobby You can obviously have more than one hobby in your future life, but let this MASH category determine the main way that you’ll be spending your free time. Some of the hobbies on your list may be ones you already love, while others could be pastimes you’d love to take up (or hope to never take up). Here are some examples: Baking Woodworking Crochet Photography Playing guitar Volunteering at an animal shelter Hiking Brewing craft beer Taxidermy Building model trains Playing the bagpipes Irish dancing Feeding pigeons Joining a multi-level marketing scheme Collecting celebrity teeth Hoarding
Best Friend Your FBFF! Or your future best friend forever, of course! Similar to your future spouse, you can choose the items for this category from people you know in real life…or from celebrities and fictional characters. Here are some ideas for the latter option: Selena Gomez Gigi Hadid LeBron James Brad Pitt Elton John Lana Del Rey Ted Mosby (How I Met Your Mother) Rory Gilmore (Gilmore Girls) Joffrey Baratheon (Game of Thrones) Dolores Umbridge (Harry Potter) Uncle Iroh (Avatar: The Last Airbender) Phoebe Buffay (Friends)
First Child’s Name You might already have your future child’s name picked out…but MASH is all about chance! So, mix your favorite, most beautiful baby names with some names that you would loathe to call your child. This category is pretty subjective, so we’ll just provide you with a list of some of the most uncommon and common baby names in the U.S. to get you started: Liam Olivia Noah Emma Oliver Amelia Rome Caspian Indigo Flynn Everest Teo Note: If you’re including this category and the “Number of Kids” category in your MASH game, make sure that “zero” is NOT an option in the “Number of Kids” category. Otherwise, you might have a child’s name but no child!
Superpower This is one of our favorite MASH categories because it’s silly, creative, and pretty fun no matter what you end up with! Definitely include some common superpowers, a few niche ones, and a couple of lackluster ones (although, is any superpower really lackluster??). Here are some examples: Flying Talking to animals Mind-reading Time travel Invisibility Healing Control over water temperature Ability to keep a space vacuumed at all times Automatic detection of precious metals and gemstones Speak every language fluently Glow-in-the-dark skin Ability to summon a remote control from anywhere Super-speed hair growth Shapeshifting into a slug
Daily Breakfast This might seem random, but breakfast is the most important meal of the day—so it can have a big impact on your life overall! For this category, imagine that you have to eat ONE thing for breakfast every day for the rest of your life. It’s tough to choose just one breakfast on your own, let alone to stick with the breakfast that the MASH game chooses for you! You should list some breakfast options you love and some that you hate—but here are some examples to get you started: Lucky Charms Waffles Breakfast burrito Cinnamon roll Eggs benedict Oatmeal Scrambled eggs Yogurt parfait Protein shake Avocado toast Bagel and cream cheese Haggis
Secret Hideout In this game of MASH, you don’t just get a future home—you also get a future secret hideout! This is a great category for kicking your imagination into gear and deciding where you’d want to spend more of your time hanging out in a fantasy life. Here are some ideas: Abandoned mine Mountain cave Floating castle Ancient temple Underwater grotto The inside of a volcano Tree hollow Sewer Hidden room behind a bookshelf
Silly Talent What’s life without a silly, secret talent? While you might not have a clear one in your real life (yet), you can certainly have one in your MASH life. And hey, while you’re at it, why not set about developing the silly talent that MASH picks out for you? You can even take a quiz to discover your hidden talent! Or, choose from these silly ideas: Juggling oranges Whistling “Yankee Doodle” Making balloon animals Balancing bulky items on your nose Identifying a song in the first 2 seconds Making whale noises Perfectly splitting an Oreo Solving the Wordle in one guess Predicting a person’s go-to coffee order Untangling headphones quickly Ventriloquism Singing the alphabet backward Doing a Jennifer Coolidge impression Recognizing any font at first glance
Catchphrase From Joey Tribbiani’s “How you doin’?” to Homer Simpson’s “D’oh,” every iconic person should have a personal catchphrase! So, obviously, you should too! Maybe you already have a funny phrase you say a lot in real life, or maybe this is the time to discover what your catchphrase should be! Here are some examples to try for your MASH game: “Grab your giggles!” “Wobble, wobble, gibble gobble.” “Welp, that’s a crapola sandwich for you.” “Live, laugh, love, lessgo.” “That escalated just as expected.” “Tell my mother I was right!” “Smooth, successful, sexy…sometimes.” “No mistakes! Only plot twists!” “I’ve made worse choices.” “I told you so, and so I told you.” “That’s amaze-spaghetti-and-meatballs.” “What in the actual, factual heck?”
Celebrity Status Are you famous in your future life, or are you just an average Joe? Maybe you were famous once, but you’ve since faded from the public eye? Maybe you’re “famous for being famous,” like Kim Kardashian or Nicole Richie. To incorporate some celeb fanfare into your MASH game, here are some different types and levels of fame you could use for this category: A-List Actor (e.g., Tom Hanks, Meryl Streep) Former Teen Pop Star (e.g., JoJo, Jesse McCartney) Famous Athlete (e.g., Michael Phelps, Serena Williams) Noted Public Official (e.g., Bernie Sanders, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez) Famous for Being Famous (e.g., Paris Hilton, Kylie Jenner) Reality TV Famous (e.g., Bethenny Frankel, Snooki) Nepo Baby Famous (e.g., Brooklyn Beckham, Scott Eastwood) TikTok Famous (e.g., Charli D’Amelio, Brent Rivera) Famous for Notoriety (e.g., Al Capone, Tonya Harding) Old Money Fame (e.g., Prince Harry, Jack Schlossberg) Famous for Good Deeds (e.g., Nelson Mandela, Jane Goodall) Not Famous (At All)
Fantasy Species Have you ever stopped to think that you might not even be human in your future MASH life? Well, this is the time! If you want to really think outside of the box, decide what type of fantasy creature you are…or you can stick with just being a plain old human. You may want to stick with human-like creatures, however, just so that the rest of your categories make sense! Here’s an example set of options for this category: Human (Non-fantasy species) Elf Giant Angel Fairy Centaur Satyr Vampire Werewolf Witch Troll Merman/Mermaid Selkie Gorgon Genie
Romantic Trope If you’re a BookTok fanatic, this one’s for you ???? You’ve probably wondered which romantic trope you’d experience in your fantasy life, and MASH can decide it for you—but it may not be the one you want. Here are some example romantic tropes you can include to determine how you’d meet (or fall for) your future MASH spouse: Friends to Lovers Enemies to Lovers Forbidden Love Fake Dating Marriage Before Love Secret Identity Grumpy Sunshine Love Triangle Amnesia Best Friend’s Sibling
Age at Death Okay, so, if you want to get a tad bit morbid…you can predict the age you’ll be when you die. Yikes! Like our other numerical categories, you’ll want to include a wide variety of numbers. However, try not to pick anything too young—otherwise, you won’t have time for other MASH predictions like your long career as a pop star, your marriage to Channing Tatum, or your family of 200 kids and a pet dragon! Here’s an example set for this type of category: 32 45 58 62 71 82 99 101 120
Vice or Weakness For another more ~adult~ category in this game of MASH, you can predict what type of common “vice” or personal flaw you might have. You could focus on personality flaws, but we’d recommend more concrete vices related to your lifestyle or social behavior. Here are some examples: Shopping addiction Oversleeping Frequent doomscrolling Gambling Workaholic Caffeine addiction Fast food addiction Compulsive lying Hoarding Substance addiction
How to Play MASH
Write MASH at the top of the piece of paper. To play MASH, all you need is a piece of paper and a writing utensil. Write “MASH” in capital letters at the top of the page. This is your first “category,” as “MASH” stands for “Mansion,” “Apartment,” “Shack,” and “House.” Each one of these items will be an option for what kind of future home you’ll have.
Create at least 5 category columns with 4+ items in each category. Now, create vertical columns under your “MASH” heading. You can do as many columns as you want, but you should have at least five (and probably no more than ten). At the top of each column, write the name of a different category—e.g., “Future Job,” “Vehicle,” “Superpower,” etc. We recommend including a few classic categories and a couple of unique ones. Under each category, write at least four items that fit into that section. You could write up to seven or eight items, if you’d like. Just try to include the same number of options in each category. Also, include a mix of desirable and undesirable options in each category. This could be subjective, but it’s important that MASH is a fun game of chance with positive and negative outcomes—that’s sort of the point of the game! For example, let’s say you love reading but hate math. In the “Job” category, you might include dream jobs like “Writer” and “Bookstore owner” alongside jobs you wouldn’t like, such as “Computer programmer” and “Financial analyst.”
Randomly choose a magic number between 3 and 10. To select the final options in each of your categories, you’ll need a number! You can find this number however you want, but it should be randomly selected. You can use a random number generator, roll a dice, or ask a friend to pick a number between 3 and 10. Another common option is to have a friend close their eyes and draw dots on a paper until you tell them to stop. Count the number of dots—there’s your magic number! Similarly, you can have your friends draw a spiral on the page until you say stop. Count the number of rings in the spiral to get your magic number.
Use your number to eliminate options in each category. Now that you have your magic number, start at the “M” in “MASH” and move clockwise through the categories. Each option counts as one number, so count from “M” in MASH until you reach your magic number. The option that your magic number lands on is then eliminated, so you can cross it out. Continue this pattern—start at the next item that hasn’t been eliminated, count up to your magic number, and cross out the item you land on. Keep crossing out items until each category has only one item left. For example, if your magic number is 4, you’d start at “M” and then count “A” as 1, “S” as 2, and “H” as 3. Keep counting like this into the first category. When you get to the 4th item (which would be the first item in the first category), cross it out. As you go, be sure to skip over and not count any options that’ve already been crossed out.
Read out your results in a final summary. Once there’s only one item in each of your categories, you can verbally summarize all your results to determine your future life. Maybe you live in a mansion in Barcelona with your husband, Jack Sparrow, your pet piglet, and 5 kids. Maybe you’re a mechanic who drives a limousine to take you and your bestie (Gigi Hadid) to your secret hideout—which is inside a volcano, obviously. The possibilities are endless!
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