Funny Clean Jokes for Everyday
Make anyone laugh on any day with these jokes. Want to brighten a friend, coworker, or stranger’s day? Try out one or more of these clean jokes! They’re perfect for a quick laugh, and everyone’s bound to love them. “How do trees get on the Internet? They log in.” “What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeno business!” “Why shouldn’t you trust stairs? They’re always up to something.” “Where does someone with one leg work? IHOP.” “What gets wetter the more it dries? A towel.” “What did the horse say when it tripped? Help! I’ve fallen, and I can’t giddyup!” “What do you call an angry carrot? A steam veggie.” “What did one toilet say to the other? You look flushed.” “What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner.” “What did the cucumber say to the pickle? You mean a great dill to me.” “What’s black and white and read all over? A newspaper.” “When does a duck wake up? At the quack of dawn.” “Why do tigers have stripes? So they won’t be spotted.” “What did one cupcake say to the other? You ain’t seen muffin yet!” “Did you hear about the new squirrel diet? It’s just nuts.” “What falls but never needs a bandage? Rain.” “Why did the egg hide? It was a little chicken.” “Why couldn’t the sunflower ride its bike? It lost its petals.” “Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7-8-9!” “Where does fruit go on vacation? Pear-is!”
Funny Clean Jokes for Kids
Get kids to smile with these kid-friendly jokes. Who doesn’t love jokes more than kids? These age-appropriate jokes are clean and perfect for making kids laugh. Don’t believe us? Try them out for yourself! “Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands.” “What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.” “Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two tired!” “Why is Cinderella so bad at soccer? She’s always running from the ball!” “Where do polar bears keep their money? In a snowbank.” “What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet.” “What does a spy do when they’re cold? They go undercover.” “What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore.” “What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!” “What did one snowman say to the other snowman? It smells like carrots over here!” “What’s a cat’s favorite instrument? Purr-cussion.” “What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher.” “What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye, matey!” “What type of shoes does a ninja wear? Sneakers.” “Why can’t Elsa have a balloon? Because she’ll let it go.” “Why couldn’t the skeleton go to school? His heart wasn’t in it.” “What kind of cat lives in water? An octo-puss.” “What do you call an alligator who solves mysteries? An investigator.” “What fish only swims at night? Starfish!” “What’s the Easter Bunny’s favorite type of music? Hip hop!”
Funny Clean Jokes for Adults
Tickle an adult’s funny bone with these clever jokes. Who says adult jokes have to be scandalous? These clean jokes are funny, witty, and super clever—they’re sure to make anyone laugh! “What has more lives than a cat? A frog because it croaks every day.” “What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck!” “How do you organize a space event? You planet.” “What did the lettuce say to the celery? Quit stalking me!” “Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in cornfields? Too many ears.” “Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.” “Why didn’t the melons get married? They cantaloupe.” “Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.” “What did the football coach say to the vending machine? Give me my quarterback!” “Why do cows have hooves and not feet? They lactose.” “What kind of tea is hard to swallow? Reality.” “What do you call fake spaghetti? An im-pasta.” “Why was the politician out of breath? They were running for office.” “Why aren’t koalas actually bears? They don’t have the koalafications.” “Why is grass so dangerous? Because it’s full of blades!” “Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. He said his summer was pretty good, too.” “Why are Christmas trees bad at knitting? They always drop their needles.” “How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.” “How does Darth Vader like his toast? On the dark side.” “Someone stole my mood ring. I don’t know how I feel about it.”
Corny Clean Jokes
Keep it classy with a joke that’s all too predictable. Sometimes, the best jokes are those you can see coming! Try out these corny Dad jokes the next time you need to put a smile on someone’s face: “What do dentists call x-rays? Tooth pics!” “When did a joke become a dad joke? When it became apparent.” “Want to hear a joke about a roof? The first one’s on the house.” “How do you make an egg roll? You push it!” “What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-tain.” “What did the triangle say to the circle? You’re pointless.” “Why were the fish’s grades so bad? They were below sea level.” “What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop.” “What cheese isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.” “Why did the strawberry cry? It was in a jam.” “What did the 50 cent do when it was hungry? 58!” “What did one plate say to the other? Dinner is on me!” “What vegetables are a sailor’s enemies? Leeks.” “Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.” “What does a condiment wizard perform? Saucery.” “Some people pick their nose, but I was born with mine.” “How do you open a banana? With a monkey.” “Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don’t peel.” “What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe!” “What kind of tree can fit in one hand? A palm tree.”
Short Clean Jokes
Opt for a short, sweet joke to get straight to the punchline. Jokes don’t have to take ages to get the point across! Stick with a joke that’s short but hilarious, like these: “Why did the bullet lose its job? It got fired.” “What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderpants.” “What would bears be without bees? Ears.” “What kind of dog tells time? A watch dog.” “What do you call an ant that fights crime? A vigilante!” “What’s the smartest insect? A spelling bee.” “How does the ocean say hi? It waves.” “What do birds give out on Halloween? Tweets.” “What do you call a guy that’s really loud? Mike.” “Which superhero hits home runs? Batman.” “What’s brown and sticky? A stick.” “Which planet loves to sing? Neptune.” “How do billboards talk? Sign language.” “What fruit do twins love? Pears.” “When is a door not a door? When it’s ajar.” “Why do sweaters stick together? They’re close-knit.” “I wasn’t a fan of facial hair, but then it grew on me.” “Where do cucumbers go on a date? The salad bar.” “Why is the ocean so clean? It has mermaids.” “I’d tell you a construction joke, but I’m still working on it.”
Funny Clean Jokes for Work
Ease tension in the office with a quick joke. Are you and your teammates feeling a bit stressed at work? Clear the air and fill the office with laughter using these clean and business-appropriate jokes: “What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits.” “Why did the computer overheat? It needed to vent.” “What does a baby computer call his father? Data.” “I heard a joke about paper today. It was tearable!” “Why did the egg have a day off? Because it was Fryday.” “What do computers eat for lunch? Microchips.” “What kind of bow can’t be tied? A rainbow.” “Why do ghosts love elevators? Because they lift their spirits.” “What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1.” “Do you know what’s odd? Every other number.”
Funny Clean Jokes for Church
Have a little fun in the name of Christ. Who says the Lord doesn’t laugh every once in a while? Try out some of these clean jokes to make your fellow church goers crack up: “How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.” “What was Moses' wife, Zipphora, known as when she'd throw dinner parties? The hostess with the Moses.” “Which Bible character was super fit? Absalom.” “What kind of car would Jesus drive? A Christlet.” “How did Joseph make his coffee? Hebrewed it.” “How do pastors like their orange juice? With pulpit.” “A Sunday school teacher was instructing her class. Just before she dismissed them to church, she asked them, "Why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" Little Johnny was quick to blurt out what he was certain was the correct answer, "Because people are sleeping!"” “A traveler was driving west and stopped in a small Texas town. There were probably only about 300 residents in the whole town, yet there were two churches. The traveler asked the gas station owner, "Why does a town this small need two churches?" The owner replied, "Well, that one says, 'there ain't no hell,' and the other one says, 'the hell there ain't!'”
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