If You Like Him
“Something boring. Wanna hang out?” The classic “wyd” text is often a kind of weak way of a guy trying to work his way up to hanging out. If you like this guy and you think he likes you, just go for it and save everyone some time. Just answer his question with a short explanation of what you actually are doing and then casually suggest doing something together. This is a good safe way to suggest a low-key date without risking much. If he turns you down or doesn’t seem interested, you can always play it off like you were suggesting a casual hangout. If you do just want to hook up with this guy, you can invite him to your house or try inviting yourself over to his. If you don’t want to hook up, meet somewhere public—especially if it’s late at night.
“Wrapping up some homework. I can’t wait for the weekend!” This is a solid response because it opens the door for him to ask about your weekend plans. If you’d say “yes” to an invitation to a date, this is a safe way to go. You could even ask him what he’s doing! Even if neither of you end up making a move, at least the two of you can continue to casually chat. If you aren’t in school, just briefly mention whatever you’re actually up to. If you wouldn’t mind hanging out right now, don’t make it seem like you’re up to anything particularly interesting.
“I’m just wrapping something up, what’s going on?” Keeping it neutral and a little dull is a good way to test where he’s going with this one. If you don’t want to just make things easy for him—and that’s totally fair if he’s being this lazy—then just don’t make it obvious where your head’s at and let him do the talking. If he earns it, you can always open up and play along later in the convo! If you prefer to playfully test him a bit, you might try, “Really? Is that all you’ve got?” or, “Oh, come on, you can do better than that!”
“Hanging out with my dog. Meet Spike!” Attach a photo of the pup and ship it his way. If you have a cat or hamster, send that instead. Not only will this give you something to talk about, but it will give him a little glimpse of something you care about. This is a great way to get to know one another if this is a new thing. You can do a version of this with just about anything. For example, you could: Tell him you’re painting or drawing and send him a photo of something you’ve been working on. Mention a movie you’re watching and send him a link to a good scene to introduce your love of film. Explain that you’re playing a video game, send a snapshot, and tell him how you’re crushing it.
“I’m hanging out with friends, we’re just chilling. What’s up?” Mentioning that you’re with a friend or two sends the signal that you’re a social person with an active life. Not only is that an attractive quality, but it also suggests that he may have to do a bit of work to get your attention. The follow-up question puts the ball in his court too, so this is a great way to push him into a more interesting conversation without prying or coming off rude.
“I was just about to text you and ask the same thing!” This is a bit eager, but if he hasn’t gotten the hint that you like him just yet, this is a good way to make it a little clearer without stating it outright. You also aren’t asking a question, so you’ll put it on him to reply. From there, just let the conversation develop organically and see how things go.
“Hey handsome, I’m not up to much!” This is direct, playful, and suggests that you’re not busy at the current moment. It obviously signals that you’re interested and it’s flirty, so it pushes him to actually make the next move. This is a good way to open the door for him to ask you out if he wants, but it also leaves him the option to keep flirting if he’s not ready for that. Feel free to add a winky face to make your message extra flirty.
“Unfortunately, not you.” If you suspect he’s trying to hook up with you and you’re interested in that, feel free to get a little naughty with your response. This kind of reply is also a little funny, so if he doesn’t push to meet up, the two of you can at least continue with some playful flirting. For an even more explicit option, you could say something like, “You if you can get over here fast enough :).”
If You Don’t Like Him
Just ignore him if you prefer. Nobody said you have to respond if you don’t want to. If he’s been obnoxiously persistent and rude, or you’re simply not interested, leave him on read. He’ll get the message that you aren’t interested in talking to him.
“Nothing super interesting. What’s up?” You can just be friendly and carry a casual conversation without flirting or implying you’re interested in him. In fact, he might just be hitting you up because he wants to be friends. Don’t assume anything before you’ve got all of the info and just treat him like you would any other friend. If he does try to flirt or hit on you, just explain, “Look, I’m down to be friends, but I’m not really interested in you like that,” or, “Sorry if I put out the wrong vibe, but I’m not really looking for anything like that right now.”
“Reading a study about the decline of conversational skills in men.” This is pretty passive-aggressive, but hey—at least it’s funny. It also sends the signal that you’re not going to putz around and entertain his lazy efforts or late night attempts to score with you. This is also slightly playful. He might back off and reply with something like, “Haha you’re right. That’s a lazy move…” and then come up with something more interesting. Even if you aren’t interested in dating or hooking up, maybe he’ll redeem himself as a potential friend.
“Idk.” If he’s going to be so lazy that he’s just texting you three letters, reply in kind. This is short, forces him to actually say something, and sends the signal that you’re not going to entertain these kinds of games. If he does reply with some actual content, at least he’ll have it in his head that you aren’t interested in hooking up. If he doesn’t get the message here and he tries pushing even further to flirt, just keep being short with him. He’ll give up soon. Replying with a 3-word acronym is a pointed way to answer a "wyd" message.
“Cut it out. I’ve already told you I’m not interested.” Some guys use “wyd” as a shorthand for “I’m bored, let’s hook up.” If he has tried pulling this before, you don’t need to spare his feelings. Explain that you want him to stop and that you aren’t going to tolerate it. If he can’t seem to understand that, block him. You don’t need to play nice with a guy who won’t let up. If you want to be a little more aggressive and say something a little more biting, go for it. You could also try, “Minding my own business. You should try it,” or, “Definitely not what you’re doing. Stop texting me.”
If You Aren’t Sure
“I’m in the middle of this really good TV show, you ever see Riverdale?” Remember, “wyd” stands for what are you doing. Tell him what you’re doing! Treat it like a normal conversation and open up a bit to see what he says. This is the best way to get to know him a little better and see what kind of a guy he is. Be wary about mentioning other guys if you’re hanging out with other guys whenever he texts you. Even if they’re just friends, he may take it as a sign that you’re taken.
“Nothing interesting. Are you a Marvel or DC guy?” If you want to get to know him better, redirect the question to focus on him. Throw out something you feel like talking about, or you’re passionate about, and see how he answers. People like talking about themselves, so probing him with questions will keep the conversation going. You could ask him about his favorite sport, movie, or band. This is a great way to figure out if the two of you have anything in common! You could mention a hobby you’re interested in and then see how he feels about it. For example, you might say, “I’m drawing right now. Do you like doing art or anything like that?”
“Not much. What’s going on?” This is a super neutral approach. If you aren’t sure about what you want or you just don’t have enough info about this guy to really make a decision one way or the other, just keep it dull. This should put it on him to actually speak up a bit and start saying something of value.
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