How to Ignore Your Enemy

Avoiding Your Enemy

Shift your mindset about your enemy. You may not always feel like it, but you are actually in control of the situation. Adversaries are good at making us feel bad. Approaching them with the right attitude will help you keep them from affecting you. Focus your thoughts on positive things and people in your life. Make the decision not to allow your enemy to get to you with his negative words and actions. Remember that your time and energy are better spent on positive and productive things, not responding to negative adversaries. Decide where you want to be in life and pursue that path with confidence.

Don't invest mental energy in the person. Staying calm and collected is your best strategy for managing difficult situations and people. Ignore any comments or behavior enemies use to taunt you or provoke a reaction from you. Come up with some go-to thoughts for the times when your enemy gets to you: “When they bring me down, I will start thinking about last year's trip to Hawaii…”

Reject any negativity they project on you. Your enemy may continuously try to bring you down with negative comments. Your job is to keep those comments from affecting you. Don't take his/her comments to heart. Think of positive thoughts, places, experiences, or people. Be the master of your own happiness. You decide who to avoid and who to listen to.

Sidestep any potential encounter with him/her. It may be impossible to avoid your enemy completely, but it's worth investing some effort to avoid meeting him/her if you can. Avoid places where you commonly meet or cross paths of an enemy who's a coworker or classmate. Delete social media connections to him/her, if you have any. Don't engage in conversation if you cannot avoid him/her completely. Acknowledge his presence, but ignore any attempt at engagement.

Take control of encounters. If you cannot avoid your enemy, you can at least make the decision not to engage with him, or minimize that engagement. Don't listen to what he/she says to you. Try not to react to his taunts and negative words, even when it's difficult. Do not, under any circumstances, get pulled into an argument or fight with him/her. Walk away if you must. Being cornered by your enemy can lead to engagement.

Being the Best Person You Can Be

Be the bigger person. It goes without saying, this is always a good strategy in life, but when you have an enemy who's trying to bring you down, it's especially important. This is because you can't change your enemies. You can only change how to react to them. Avoid the temptation to get revenge or otherwise hurt them. Don't react to provocations.

Act friendly without engaging with him/her. Your enemy has a harder time being mean when you are being friendly. It may be hard to be nice, fake it if you must. But taking the wind out of his sails by doing what he doesn’t expect can be a good way to cool down any conflict. Smile and make eye contact. Acknowledge his presence, but don't engage in conversation.

Focus on your goals. Even if your enemy is trying to derail you from doing what you need to do, it's key to not let him/her influence your decisions or obstruct your progress. Pursue whatever goals you have that your enemy is trying to sabotage. Consider your goal achievement as a kind of reward for tolerating your enemy. Don't act like he or she does. You will always be glad you stuck to your principles.

Gathering Your Support Network

Focus on the people who care about you and support you. It's easy to spend energy on your enemy and how to deal with him, but you will feel better and stronger if you remember all of the positive and helpful people in your life instead. Think about your army of supporters even if they're not physically present. Imagine your support network cheering you on in difficult situations. Strive to find new allies at work, school or other places you spend time.

Stay positive. Keeping a positive attitude will help you avoid spending too much energy and time thinking about your enemy's behavior. This also means you can focus on the helpful people in your life such as your supporters. Think about your support network every time a negative thought comes to mind. Never lose track of your goals and how you will reach them.

Be your own best supporter. Think of what you admire most in yourself and focus on your own accomplishments. Friends and family are valuable supporters, but it's also important to take care of yourself. Make a list of the accomplishments that make you proud. Think of a recent compliment by a loved one or coworker. Come up with a daily mantra (or two or three): “I am the strongest person I know!” or “I can handle anything that comes my way.”