A woman has admitted to sneaking into her boyfriend’s private messages, only to come across something disturbing. It’s widely understood that snooping through someone’s phone is a major breach of trust and you’re likely to stumble upon things you’d rather not see. That’s precisely what happened to this woman, when she delved into her partner’s archived chats on WhatsApp. In a message sent to Slade’s Dear Prudence advice column, the woman revealed that she stumbled upon messages her boyfriend had sent to an ex, who had broken up with him in 2020. She said she found these chats “disturbing.” “These messages reveal that he drove to her place during Christmas in 2021, trying to give her a present and persuade her to come back,” she wrote. “I understand that snooping is wrong, and I’ve never confessed to reading these messages. But whenever he talks about how he would never reconcile with an ex, especially that one, I feel deeply unsettled. I’m unsure about what to do – should I bring it up?”.
In response, Prudence began by saying: “If you went through three years of messages and that’s the worst you found, I’m relieved for you! Your boyfriend hasn’t been communicating with his ex since you’ve been together, he hasn’t been confiding in his friends about his longing for her, and there’s no indication of inappropriate behaviour with other women. If you can, try to ease your mind”.
Prudence advised against discussing the snooping with her boyfriend, but encouraged the woman to reflect on why she felt compelled to go through the messages. She stated the importance of acknowledging and trusting one’s feelings without always seeking external validation. “What prompted you to snoop?” Prudence questioned. “What led you to doubt his honesty or commitment to you?” It’s crucial to address these underlying concerns within oneself to foster a healthier relationship dynamic.
Prudence wrapped up by prompting the woman to imagine how she would feel if phone technology didn’t exist and she couldn’t read her boyfriend’s messages. “Reflect on your relationship in that scenario,” she advised.
An earlier query in the column spoke about a woman’s revelation about discovering her husband’s affair with her cousin through messages appearing on a tablet. Despite having evidence, she chose to bide her time for revenge, mentioning that both she and her cousin received significant financial support from their grandparents.
Comments
0 comment