- The “Broke Boyfriend Hug” is a popular TikTok term that refers to the hug-from-behind position men often stand in when their girlfriend pays for everything for them.
- The “Broke Boyfriend Hug” trend comes from the viral “He Got No Money Pose” meme from Imgur in 2019, and it spread to TikTok in September 2022.
- TikTok users believe the “Broke Boyfriend Hug” highlights the unfair expectations placed on women in cis-hetero relationships, in terms of keeping their partners happy.
What is the “Broke Boyfriend Hug?”
It’s a specific hug your bf might give you if you pay for all his expenses. If a girl is shopping with her boyfriend, he might lean all his body weight on her back and wrap his arms around her from behind. This is known as the “Broke Boyfriend Hug,” and it typically happens when a guy doesn’t have money but expects his girlfriend to buy him everything. His expenses are usually necessities like groceries and clothing, but they also include games, haircuts, or anything else that isn’t essential. Oftentimes, a guy will use this move at the cash register when his girlfriend has pulled her card out to pay for him. The “Broke Boyfriend Hug” is not a trend mocking men for being unable to afford things, but rather, highlights the additional work and expectations women experience in a relationship.
Origin & Spread
The “Broke Boyfriend Hug” stems from the 2019 “He Got No Money Pose.” Also known as the “He Has No Money Hug” or the “She’s Paying Hold,” the “He Got No Money Pose” became a viral meme after it was posted on Imgur in June 2019. The meme features 2 couples wrapped around each other, with the guy grabbing onto the girl from behind as she’s paying at the cash register. It’s captioned with the text, “the universal position dudes stand in when they have no money and the girl pays for everything.” The meme got 100,000+ views and 2,000 upvotes.
The “He Has No Money Pose” meme gained popularity on Twitter in 2020. In August 2020, Twitter user @joe_espy posted a tweet of a guy holding his girlfriend from behind at a game store, with the caption “hopefully this me when the PS5 drop????????." The tweet quickly spread on Twitter, and many users began creating their own “He Has No Money Pose” tweets with similar images. The original tweet from @joe_espy garnered 84,000+ likes in just 2 years.
The “Broke Boyfriend Hug” became a TikTok trend in 2022. In September 2022, TikTok user @gkingcomic uploaded a parody video reenacting the “He Has No Money Pose” meme. In the video, a man gives his girlfriend the “Broke Boyfriend Hug” as she pays for his haircut at the barbershop. Over the next few months, the video became a viral sensation, and the TikTok term “Broke Boyfriend Hug” became mainstream by the end of 2022. The original TikTok video from @gkingcomic gained over 2 million views and 270,000+ likes in just 8 months.
Discussion About the “Broke Boyfriend Hug” on TikTok
The “Broke Boyfriend Hug” trend highlights “invisible labor” for women. Women have greater pressures placed on them by society, and this TikTok trend brings awareness to the gender inequalities in cis-hetero relationships. Invisible labor refers to all the work a woman does that isn’t acknowledged by her partner, such as cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, and taking care of the children. The “Broke Boyfriend Hug” represents the additional expectation for a woman to keep her husband happy all the time. Taking on too much “invisible labor” can harm a woman’s physical and mental health, and in order to have a successful relationship, both partners need to agree on how to split household labor.
Some TikTok users believe the “Broke Boyfriend Hug” is a form of gaslighting. Many people have criticized the trend because it represents a subtle form of abuse, or “weaponized incompetence.” This buzzword describes when someone does something poorly on purpose or claims they don’t know how to do it—so they can place the responsibility on someone else. In terms of the “Broke Boyfriend Hug” trend, the man is relying on the woman to pay for everything to avoid getting a job or finding other ways to support their lifestyle. While the “Broke Boyfriend Hug” is romanticized by some male users, it’s not healthy for one partner to pay for everything in the relationship. Track the expenses you’re covering for your boyfriend, then ask him to contribute more or find other ways he can help out (if he’s struggling to find a job). This might look like running errands for you or cleaning the house. If your boyfriend spends the majority of your income and never covers your bills and expenses, he might be financially abusing you. Stop financial abuse by hiding your money in a secret savings account or leaving it with a trusted family member until you can save enough and leave your partner.
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