Man Feels Controlled After Parents Demand 65% Of His Salary, Internet Says 'Move Out'

Giving the first salary to parents is a common and deeply cherished emotion in India that is filled with immense pride. This gesture reflects respect, gratitude and a sense of responsibility, which most of us have experienced in our lives. But what if this emotion turns into a trauma? Recently, a man stirred a debate online after he recounted his ordeal about how his parents have been demanding 65 percent of his salary. He explained that his parents, who paid zero cents for his studies, have been saving his hard-earned money for his elder sister’s wedding, who is jobless.

In his post, the man mentioned that he hails from a middle-class family. His father earns 60,000 per month, has Rs 20 lakh cash and plots worth another Rs 20 lakh. His mother is a homemaker and his elder sister, who studied well, is jobless. He went on to say that he recently graduated and has been working in IT since September 2023 in NCR. He earns 80,000 a month, and as a nice gesture to thank his parents, he decided to give them his first salary.

Sweet enough, right? But hold on to your horses. The man then added, “I gave them 50 thousand rupees. Ever since then, my parents have been demanding 50 thousand rupees every month from me. I couldn’t say no because they raised me, but I couldn’t make my ends meet, and I had zero savings as of now.”

Elaborating further, the user said that his father did not pay a single penny for his B.Tech. He took a loan under his name, which he is repaying now through EMIs. His father acted like a dictator throughout his life until he got a job.

“I feel that I am being controlled by them. One day, I casually asked my parents what they were doing with the amount that I gave them. To which they answered that they were saving my money for my sister’s marriage. My parents also confirmed that the wealth will be shared equally between us. I feel very bad because my sister, who was raised equally with me, will be eating my salary, which I earned without working, apart from her share of family wealth. I don’t feel like I am independent, and I don’t get the feeling that I am building my wealth on my own,” the man expressed.

The post, shared on May 1, has sparked a detailed discussion online. Reddit users flocked to the comments section of the post to share their take. Many suggested that he should move out and learn to say no, while there were some who asked him to invest in mutual funds or stocks. There were a few who advised him to sit down and negotiate with the parents, explaining that he wouldn’t be able to shell out such a big chunk.

Since being posted, the share has mustered more than 1,200 upvotes and the numbers are only rising. “Move out, bro. I cannot ever imagine my parents doing this,” commented a user.

Disagreeing with most of the users, a Reddit user suggested, “I disagree with most of the people saying that you should move out. Your father paid for your education and did most of the hard work for your family. You can negotiate with them and lower the amount to 35k to 20k. Don’t ruin the relationship with your family for the sake of money.”

“You realised it early. I realised after giving lakhs of rupees and even peace of mind. Parents will never make good use of money and your value will decrease if you lose your job for any reason. To get a great job, you will need financial safety. Without any financial safety, you have no confidence to switch jobs, have no partner to marry, and you will lose chances of making the right investment,” wrote an individual.

A person also remarked, “Tell your parents that you will save the money your way, such as in stocks and mutual funds. Don’t hand over the money completely. That way, you will control the invested sum and have a feeling of ownership of the money. Convince them to trust you with the money by pointing out that you got a good job young and can be trusted with the money.”

“Start with a recurring deposit, 1 tax gain ELSS, x amount in your PPF, 1 mutual fund SIP, and your monthly life insurance installment.” Decide how much money you need every month. 1. For you 2. For family expenses 3. Contribute to your sister’s wedding. All the money that remains after deducting this amount should directly be invested,” added another.

What do you suggest?