Actress Somy Ali has been making headlines for her past relationship with Bollywood superstar Salman Khan, who reportedly dated her for about eight years before calling it quits in 1999. Somy’s film with Salman Khan, Buland, never saw the light of day but their off-screen love affair was the talk of the town in the early 1990s. Of late, the Pakistan-born celebrity has been speaking about what led to her and Salman’s breakup and why she chose to leave India despite a decent film career in hand. We got in touch with Somy to talk about what triggered her to discuss the past once again and her potential comeback in Bollywood.
What has made you talk about the past?
The scars, both physical and emotional. Speaking up and talking about what one has endured is the best form of healing and therapy.
Do you feel that you have been wronged by many people?
Yes, but I too have wronged them due to improper guidance and being controlled by an individual who would enable me to do things that would hurt people’s feelings. I was not perfect either, so I am no saint.
Why would you disappear from Hindi films all of a sudden?
I went there to pursue a crush and when I ended the relationship, there was no point in staying there. I had to finish my education and going back home to Miami was the next logical move.
Over the years, so many actresses have made a comeback in Bollywood even after their disappearance from the big screen for more than a decade. Given a chance, would you like to return to showbiz?
No. Because I do not feel like I fit in that world and I simply do not have the talent. It’s as simple as that.
You recently said in an interview that actor Salman Khan “cheated” on you. Why would you say it now? Did you try to confront Salman at the time?
I have said it 20 years ago as well and there was no point in confronting him as the relationship had already run its course irrespective of infidelity or not. It was not mentally feasible for me to stay there or be logical to confront him. Here’s a perfect quote to describe the ending: “Once I ran to you, now I run from you.”
Do you see yourself mending your ways with Salman in the near future?
We did not speak for a year after I broke up with him. Then we spoke on and off here and there, but now I do not see any reason to do so. I wish him the best. He and I have both moved on and I am in a very peaceful place now.
You have also been advocating for the survivors of sexual assault and have done so much work for them through your foundation No More Tears.
This is the most selfish thing I could have ever done as it is therapeutic and helps me heal a bit each time I rescue a woman, child, and a man. We have to use the abuse we endured and make something positive out of it. We can’t sit around and feel sorry for ourselves. We have to be strong and find ways to heal. At least that is my thought process and philosophy of life.
Did people believe you when you shared your story of sexual abuse with the world?
It was all over the tabloids in the ’90s as there were several public incidents, so everyone knew about it. It was not some big deep dark secret. However, three years ago, I found my voice to talk about my childhood sexual abuse and being raped at 14. Plus, the abuse I endured in India. This last bit, I was trolled and bullied on social media for deeming it to be a publicity stunt which is bizarre as many of the nasty comments came from women. I guess fame and power put blinders on several individuals. It’s okay though, it will not stop me from sharing my story. Victim blaming is not a new concept, and I do not see this dissipating any time soon.
Was any of your partners abusive to you?
Only one. The few others I dated in the US were extremely healthy.
Do you think things have changed for survivors since the MeToo movement broke— from how we treat those who come forward about sexual assault to how the accused react?
No. We still have a long way to go and more so in our culture than in the west because once again the society blames the victims. Unless that stops, nothing will change. Wherever there is a male-dominated society which is pretty much the entire world, this stigma of blaming the victim rather than the perpetrator will prevail. Yes, women are speaking up and have done so in India and elsewhere, but where are we in that respect now? Where is the accountability and where are the consequences? It’s all fizzled off as it was never even initiated. Another aspect is that women need to support each other rather than bring one another down. We must believe survivors. For a long time, when I was in an abusive relationship, I blamed myself and now I know I do not need to even carry an iota of that blame on my shoulders. My voice has finally given me the freedom I yearned to attain for over 20 years.
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