Responding Appropriately
Get your wife’s opinion. Value how your wife feels about the situation and get an understanding of how if affects her. If she is bothered by the stares, discuss whether or not you should intervene on her behalf. If you have addressed this issue in the past, then you may already know how your wife feels about the attention that she receives. If this is the case, make a decision in advance on how you will respond so that you do not overreact. If your wife does not recognize the problem, then maybe there isn't one and you can just enjoy your day and time together.
Move closer to her. Demonstrate that you are a couple by holding her hand or linking arms to show that she is not just a friend. Showing affection with a kiss on the lips is a great way to demonstrate that you are in a relationship. Your wife is probably proud of you and appreciates it when you show affection to let others know that you are together. This can also apply to a situation where someone is staring at you and you want to demonstrate that you are taken. It works both ways.
Flash your wedding rings. Sometimes when a man finds a woman attractive, he does not take the time to look at her ring finger because he is focused on admiring her beauty. If either you, your wife, or both of you discreetly flash your wedding rings, that will eliminate any question about whether or not you are married.
Use eye contact. Let the other guy know that you see him looking at your wife. If at a restaurant, for example, look at the guy who is looking at your wife to show him that you are uncomfortable with his actions. Another way to use eye contact is to gaze into your wife’s eyes to demonstrate that you have a connection that the outside world cannot touch. This approach can also be used if you have an admirer staring at you.
Ask for respect. Politely ask the offender to stop staring at your wife. Tell him that you would appreciate it if he showed you and her a little respect. Most decent people will stop staring at this point. Encourage your wife to share her opinion with the person staring, but only if she chooses to say something. She can do this without creating a scene by casually saying that she is taken. If you continue to be concerned about the attention that your wife receives, discuss your insecurities and ask her for reassurance.
Laugh about it. As with many things in life, it is always good to have a sense of humor. Sometimes you just have to laugh it off and know that it is comical that other men think that your wife would even be remotely interested in them.
Controlling Excessive Jealousy
Use self-control. Controlling any jealously or possessive urges that you may feel could prevent unnecessary drama. Before you do or say anything, decide not to allow another person’s actions negatively impact you. Sometimes your inability to maintain control may be the result of past experiences where you did not feel secure. If you have ever had someone cheat on you before, you may fear that it will happen again, which may cause you to feel jealous. Realize that your past is not your present and jealousy is not warranted in this situation.
Trust your wife. When you react to another person staring at your wife, you display a lack of trust in her and possibly even low self-esteem or low self-worth. Not allowing the stares of others to affect you will show that you trust your wife and those staring are not a threat. Remember that she chose to marry you and likely has a connection with you that she does not share with anyone else. Building your relationship on love, trust, and respect can reduce feelings of jealousy and help you to maintain control when someone is staring. You must believe that your wife will not do anything to break your bond and know that what you have is special. Most wedding vows include “forsaking all others,” so remember that your wife made a commitment to you that probably means a lot to her.
Present yourself with confidence. Whether it is a confident walk or standing tall, presenting yourself with confidence when you enter a room can sometimes eliminate the problem because those observing will know that they cannot compete with you. Feelings of inadequacy can sometimes create possessiveness because you want to control the person so that they do not leave you. Having confidence can alleviate that need for control. To build your confidence, you can make a list of all of the things that you like about yourself and perhaps even include the things that your wife likes about you. This exercise can help to remind you that you are in fact a great catch.
Be reasonable. It is not uncommon for a man to admire a woman. There were probably even times when you observed an attractive woman and found yourself staring. It is reasonable to expect that your attractive wife will receive admirers, but that does not mean that anyone will act on those feelings.
Ignore him. When observing a guy staring at your wife, it may be hard to tell what kind of person you are dealing with. He might have an anger problem or a chip on his shoulder, which could create a problem. Instead of getting upset or jealous, just ignore him. You cannot change what other people do, but you can certainly change your response to their actions.
Enjoying the Attention
Acknowledge your wife's beauty. Be sure that you are giving her enough of that kind of appreciation and attention. You do not want everyone else showing appreciation for your wife when you are not. Be sure to acknowledge the many other wonderful attributes of your wife and not just her outer appearance. If she enjoys being appreciated for her appearance, your interference might be perceived negatively.
Enjoy it while it lasts. As women get older, their appearance changes. This does not mean that your wife will no longer be attractive, but it does mean that she probably will not receive that type of attention forever.
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