Getting to Know Him
Introduce yourself. This might sound ridiculous, but it is very important. First, you want to be sure he's really that perfect man you think he is – not just a handsome face for your idea of Prince Charming – and you also want him to know you exist! So take a deep breath and go talk to him. A very simple "Hi, I'm..." will do. Try to sound as normal as possible. Talk to him as you would talk to someone you would like to befriend – seducing him will come later.
Learn things about him. If you want to hook this guy, you need to learn some things about him – what he likes, what he doesn’t like, what he does for a living, what some of his hobbies are. The more information you know about him, the more tools you’ll have to use in your quest to win his affections. If you find out things he likes, you can bring up your shared interests in casual conversation. That way, he’ll know that you have things in common and he’ll begin to think about doing some of those things together. For example, if you find out that he likes to play golf, casually mention your trip to the range with your dad last weekend. Additionally, if you get a guy talking about something they are passionate about, they’ll feel good about it and later relate those positive feelings back to their experience with you. Common values and interests are the things that will truly bond you two, so focus on that.
Talk about yourself. A good way to learn things about someone else is by seeing how they react to what others say. So, tell him some things about yourself and see how he reacts. But don’t get too personal right away. This can be off-putting. He is more likely to see you as a long-term partner when you confidently know your worth, share vulnerabilities, have aspirations in life, possess great listening skills, etc. You can also talk about sports, movies, music, politics – whatever. Just engage him in a conversation so you can learn more about him. Make sure you own your self-worth and show you live a fulfilling life. Confidence is one of the most desired traits a man will seek in a partner, as they are attracted to someone who will compliment their lifestyle.
Use social media to your advantage. Add him on Instagram and start engaging with him there. Like a few of his photos to begin with, but not too many. Once you are following each other, like some of his selfies so he knows you appreciate the way he looks, but be sure to like some of photos that are indicative of his interests too. If he starts reciprocating with likes and comments, it is a very good sign for you. At this point, you should pull back a little bit so that he will start wondering where you are and why you haven’t been liking as many of his posts. Give him an occasional like every now and then, but be very cautious about overdoing it.
Putting Yourself in His Way
Try to see him on a regular basis. OK, now he knows who you are. Don't worry if your first time talking to him wasn't perfect because you're now going to try to be around him more and start to pique his interests. Put yourself in his path when you know he’s going to be somewhere. Be logical: would you at all have a sentimental interest in someone whose existence you are only marginally aware of? Well, that's the way he feels about you at the moment. Repeated exposure to you will increase his feelings for you. If he was attracted to you initially, the attraction will only increase the more he encounters you. Some good ways to spend more time around him are to start frequenting his local venues (bars, restaurants, book stores, etc.) or to try to get invited to some of the same social events as him.
Look your best. While looks definitely aren’t everything, they can be a very big part of attracting a person initially. For this reason, it is important that you try to look your best when you are putting yourself in his way. Even if you are dressed casually, wear a little makeup so he’ll think you are a natural beauty. Make sure you smell good too so that he’ll associate you with smelling good in his mind. And remember that everyone loves a great smile. So remember to flash him a grin when you see him.
Use your connections. If you have common friends (friends, not random acquaintances. Otherwise it'll be too suspicious), try being around them more – and if he comes, talk to him. Answer what he says, react. Don't push yourself forward too much, but try to make him feel like you're a person worth knowing. If your two circles of friends don't cross, don't lose hope! Be strategical. If you see him alone at lunch, invite him to join you at your table. If you see him in the corridors, try having a conversation with him.
Don't frighten him. Don't follow him everywhere he goes; don't join every club he's in. Be nice and cheerful when with him, but your encounters must not be forced. If he suddenly sees you everywhere, you'll scare him. This is one of the most difficult steps – finding the right balance. But you'll manage eventually. Don't turn into a stalker, but be open and friendly. The feeling you must convey is of interest. That way, he'll feel comfortable if he wants to get to know you a little bit more. Some good behaviors to avoid are showing up where you know he’ll be too often, calling or texting him repeatedly, liking or commenting on everything he does on his social media accounts, or visiting his place of employment too often. Remember: you can't force time. He'll come your way if you maintain those dispositions of friendly interest.
Making Him Think About You
Include him in your circle of friends. Now that you're a bit more than just vague acquaintances, the next step is becoming friends. Lots of people say this might be a wrong move, but most of the time, this is not the case. It will help you to avoid the main risk, that is to say, to make him fall in love with a person you are not. Among your friends, you are yourself – and if you want him to be addicted to you, you have to be your true self from the beginning. Moreover, becoming friends will help to see how much common ground you have. If you go on being warm, friendly, and interesting (which you undoubtedly are) you'll become friends in the most natural way possible. Remember: how did you befriend all those people you're surrounded by? Well, if it worked for them, it'll work for him too!
Make him feel special. Once you are friends, you want him to know he's more than just "one of the guys" for you. Don't make it too obvious, but try to make him stand out a little. Don't tell him your biggest secret ever – you'll scare him – but do slightly odd things that show you feel close to him or that you thought of him. For example, if you don't share your feelings easily, try telling him things like, "Well, I feel a bit blue today." Or if you talked about some kind of sweet he liked, try to bring him a piece of it (and one for yourself, too).
Be subtle. What you want is him slowly wrapping his head around the fact that you and him have a lot in common. By showing him trust and giving him a little more attention than your other friends, he will subconsciously register that something's happening. Don't make it too obvious. If we take the first example again, don't tell him, "OMG I feel so depressed. I'm so sad, it's awful," because you would scare him: he wouldn't understand why, suddenly, you began talking that much about yourself. Everything must be natural. A bit odd, perhaps, but never forced. Try telling him a story first (when it is just the two of you) that you plan on telling your other friends later. It will make him feel special to know he heard it before the others. Or try touching him just a little bit more than you touch other people. You could touch his arm while you are talking to him or give him a hug when you see him.
Don't discuss your plans with other people. For one, you'll be less embarrassed if it turns out you're not that into him. For two, you'll avoid awkward situations like: "Is this the one?" in the loudest voice possible when he's just a few meters away. You'll also avoid your friends trying to give you a hand. They mean well – but it often ends in disaster. You can feel comfortable telling other people (including your friends) only if they don't have even the remotest chance of meeting him or if one of the steps described here cannot physically be achieved without their collaboration. But otherwise, you're on your own on this one.
Drawing Him In
Make it more obvious. After a safe amount of time spent in this intermediate zone, you can proceed to the next step. This amount of time will vary depending on the guy: you'll have to feel when it's safe to move on. Basically, you'll know you can go on when he starts giving you some extra attention too. Now, it's time to enter the very-near-to-flirt zone. Tell him things like "I miss/missed you," "I saw/made/met... and I thought of you."
Touch him more. Lean on his shoulder if you're tired, for example. At this point, you must have reached a level of confidence between you and him where it's possible for you to do such a thing. Physical intimacy is essential: it will allow him to start questioning his feelings. But don't go overboard; at this point, he's still only your friend. Physical contact must therefore be occasional. Always have a plausible reason: tiredness, feeling blue, or needing a hug. Once again, it is essential not to scare him.
Leave him wanting more. Never make it absolutely clear that he is the one you want. Guys like to fight for what they want. So, make him chase you a little bit. Let him know that you’re interested, but don’t be so available that he thinks you have nothing better to do. Don’t respond to his texts immediately. Don’t answer the phone every time he calls. Don’t be available every time he asks you out. Ignore him only a few times; the risks are if you ignore him too much, there will be trouble coming in the long run. The up side is his heart will be questioning whether you like him or not. Don't seem available all the time after you've gone past your "friend stage." This will make him miss you and wonder what is going on in your life. He will know he's not the only subject on your schedule, leading him to care and love you more and more.
Ask him out. Perhaps he'll do it himself – in that case, congratulations – but perhaps he won't. In that case, don't panic. Remember it's just as hard for boys as it is for girls. If he doesn't ask you out, it doesn't mean he doesn't like you. It might mean he's scared. Drop hints like "I'd love to see this movie but, alas, all my friends have seen it already." And if he still doesn't ask you out, well... do it yourself. Gender roles are so last century.
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