125 Spanish Jokes & Puns for All Ages

Funny Jokes About Spain

Tell a fun joke about your favorite European country. Whether you’re traveling to Spain or poking fun at a Spanish friend, there are a ton of funny jokes and puns about Spain. Refer to some of your favorite Spanish cities, popular Spanish names, or Spanish words and phrases. Here are some of our favorites: What were the names of the two Spanish firefighting brothers? Hose A and Hose B. What do you call a Spaniard with a rubber toe? Roberto. What do you call a Spaniard with a lowered car? Carlos. How does Mr. Bean introduce himself in Spain? Soy Bean. Where do bees go to party in Spain? Ibiza. I used to live in Aragon, in Spain. Then I left. I’m Aragone. Where do recluses live in Spain? Barceloner. Where do folks from Bilbao, Spain, buy outdoor equipment? The Basque Pro Shop. What do Spanish phantoms say when they like something? Me ghosta. Why are there no automatic cars in Spain? They’re all Manuel. What do you call a rental car in Spain? A Barceloaner. Why do Spaniards frequently plagiarize essays? Because nobody inspects the Spanish exposition. Why did the Spaniard go to the beach? He wanted to Basque in the sun. What did the bull say to the Spanish bullfighter? Don’t bull-y me. How does a Spanish sheep say Merry Christmas? Fleece Navidad. Who is the Spaniard’s favorite Lord of the Rings character? Bilbao Baggins. What did the Spanish wine say to the French wine? It’s grape to meet you. Did you hear about the curious Spanish swine? Porque Pig. If Spanish explorers had cheese dip, do you think they would be called the Con Quesodores? What did the Spanish snail say when asked what he carried inside his shell? Es cargo. What do Spanish people call leftover beef? Reincarne. Why do the employees of the Spanish newspaper El Mundo work so hard? Because El Mundo means The World to them. What did the Spanish-speaking guest say as he left Ikea with his new chair? Silla later. What do you get when your French and Spanish friends mix? Mon amigos. What did the mathematician order at the Spanish restaurant? A pi-ella. Meet the wikiHow Experts Manuel Garavito is a stand-up comedian, producer, and the founder of Miami Comedy. Andrea Vicunia is an actress, writer, and stand-up comedian based in Los Angeles, California, with over 15 years of experience in the entertainment industry.

Dad Jokes About Spain

Get a little cheesy with a fun dad joke. Garavito says the “hallmark of a dad joke” is wordplay, so get those puns ready! Dad jokes are typically fun, lighthearted, and easily enjoyed by all ages. Here are some of our favorites: How many Spaniards does it take to change a lightbulb? Just Juan. Who is the Spanish patron saint of shoes? San Dalia (sounds like “sandalia,” the Spanish word for “sandal”) What time was it when the monster ate the Prime Minister of Spain? Eight P.M. What do you call someone from Spain who lives near the Portuguese border? Span-ish. What milk comes from Spain? Soy milk. What do you call a small mosque in Spain? A mosquito. Which bus went from Spain to America? Columbus. I’ve finally worked out why Spain is so good at football. Nobody expects the Spanish in position. Did you hear that the Spaniards created a machine that dispenses fish? They call it a pez dispenser. (“Pez” is Spanish for “fish.”) What do you call an elderly Spanish man? A señor citizen. Did you hear about the watchmaker who is half Spanish and half Irish? His name is Juan O’Clock. What is the call of a Spanish-speaking owl? Quién… Quién. (“Quién” is Spanish for “who.”) What’s a good Spanish sports channel? ESBieN. What do you call four Spanish guys in a capsized boat? Cuatro sinko. Why do Spanish-speaking people prefer to travel in groups of 2 or 4? No tres-passing. What do Spanish speakers scream on a rollercoaster? Nosotros. What does a Spanish photon say when you tickle it? No mass! No mass! How much Spanish did the cow know? Muuuuucho. My dad is moving to a Spanish city. Ciudad. What do you call a Spanish woman who always says yes? Si-ñorita. What did the Spanish sauce say to the English sauce? Soy sauce. What moisturizer do Spanish bullfighters use? Olay. How do you say doormat in Spanish? Matador. What sport is played in Spanish churches? La Cross. What do you call a Spanish baker? A con-quiche-ador.

Spanish Puns

Share some puns about Spain and the Spanish language. If you have a basic understanding of Spanish, there are lots of unique puns you can come up with. Catch people off guard by delivering a one-liner instead of a traditional joke. Garavito says, “In conversation, don’t deliver it like a punchline—share it like a thought.” Your audience will likely appreciate your quick wit! Here are some examples: My 4-year-old son has been learning Spanish all year and still can’t say the word “please.” Which I think is poor for four. I like to say “mucho” when talking to my Spanish-speaking friends. It means a lot to them. I asked my Spanish friend if he knew where fish lived. He said “Si.” My collection of Swiss watches was stolen in Spain. Adios, Omegas. My uncle moved to Spain to sing on stage by night and sell UPVC windows by day. He changed his name to Enrique Doubleglazius. What do you call a sneezing Bigfoot in Spanish? Achoopacabra. Vasco de Balboa told the Queen of Spain, “I discovered a large body of water on my journey.” She said, “Could you be a little more pacific?” “Is this the Spanish word for ‘nap?’” She asked, pointing to a word on the page. “Si, está.” Recently, I started learning Spanish. But I can’t hola long conversation. People are always amazed by the skilled tattoo artists in Spain. Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision. The cats have carried out a coup in Barcelona and declared independence from Spain. They’re calling themselves the Republic of Catalo-nya. If 8 Germans leave my party, and 9 French people leave my party, have I got any idea how many Spaniards leave my party? Tengo. I tripped and fell while walking in Barcelona. I spained my ankle. My Spanish friend is destined to save the world. He really is the chosen Juan. I’ve started buying off-brand Spanish rice instead of the expensive stuff. As they say, “Arroz by any other name…” I met a Spanish magician who told me he could disappear on the count of three. He said “Uno, dos…” then disappeared without a tres. I used to have a Spanish girlfriend called Nada. She meant nothing to me. Do you speak Spanish? A.) No. B.) A little. C.) Señor. What did the Spanish scientist say when asked if he wanted lime in his cocktail? A mi no acid. My Spanish teacher asked me to turn in my essay. But I ain’t no snitch. How do you spell socks in Spanish? Eso si que es. What did the Spanish farmer say to his chickens? Oh-lay! What do you call a banana you want tomorrow in Spanish? Bañana. Two quizzers had a date at Comic Con in Spain. They were Spanish con-quiz-daters. What do you call a Spanish gummy bear? A delici-oso.

Spanish Jokes for Adults

Save your mature or dirty jokes for an adult audience. When it comes to telling jokes, Vicunia says, “Reading the room is important.” If you prefer dark or dirty jokes, avoid telling them in front of kids. If you intend to poke fun at someone, make sure it won’t hurt their feelings. Once you’re sure everyone is comfortable, try one of these adult jokes: Why wasn’t Jesus born in Spain? He couldn’t find 3 wise men or a virgin. Did you hear about the winner of the Spanish beauty contest? Me neither. What’s the difference between a smart Spaniard and a unicorn? Nothing, they’re both fictional. What do you call a Spanish streaker? Señor Willy. How do you make a Spanish chili? You stick the popsicle up the hombre. What do you call a hangover when you’re alone in Spain? Barf-a-lona. My ex-girlfriend cheated on me with a Spanish guy. She’s some Juan else’s problem now. A thankful Spanish man falls on his rear and slides down a hill. Gracias. What do you call an abortion in Spanish? Adios, embryos. Why do Spanish beaches have a lot of women? Because they’re playas. What do you call a Spanish soccer player with no legs? Grassy-ass. What’s the similarity between a Spanish prison and Leonardo DiCaprio? Now, both have an Oscar. The company I worked for was bought out by a billionaire from Spain. We didn’t expect the Spanish Acquisition. What do Captain America and Spain have in common? A horrific Civil War. When my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, I started looking for a name. I chose Juan Carlos and took the first flight to Spain.

Funny Jokes in Spanish

Tell a hilarious joke in Spanish. Whether you speak Spanish fluently or are just starting to learn, telling jokes in Spanish opens you up to a whole new world of humor. Many Spanish jokes rely on wordplay, so they don’t always translate well to English. However, we’ve provided an explanation for each punchline so English speakers can get in on the fun! Here are some of our favorite Spanish jokes: ¿Qué dijo el gato después de chocar su carro? ¡Miauto! What did the cat say after crashing its car? My-auto! Jaimito, si en esta mano tengo ocho naranjas y en esta otra seis naranjas. ¿Qué tengo? ¡Unas manos enormes, maestra! Jaimito, if in this hand, I have eight oranges and in the other, six oranges, what do I have? Huge hands, teacher! ¿Por qué hablas con tus zapatillas? Es que en la caja dice Converse. Why are you talking to your shoes? Because the box says Converse. ¿Tienen libros sobre el cansancio? Sí, pero están todos agotados. Do you have any books about tiredness? Yes, but they ran out. (“Agotados” means both “exhausted” and “sold out.”) Los zombies que hablan español e inglés… ¿Zombilingües? The zombies that speak Spanish and English… Zombie lingual? (“Zomblingües” sounds like “son bilingües,” which means “they’re bilingual.”) ¿Cómo se dice veterinario en inglés? Dogtor. How do you say veterinarian in English? Dogtor. ¿Por qué está triste el libro de matemáticas? Porque tiene muchos problemas. Why is the math book sad? Because it has many problems. ¿Por qué el huevo fue al banco a pedir dinero prestado? Porque estaba quebrado. Why did the egg go to the bank to borrow money? Because it was broke. Hola, ¿Está Agustín? No, estoy incómodo. Hello, is Agustín there? No, I’m uncomfortable. (In some Latin American countries, “agustín” is a slang way of saying “a gusto,” which means feeling relaxed and comfortable. ¿Cuál es la única planta que camina? La planta de los pies. What is the only plant that walks? The sole of the feet. (In Spanish, “planta” means tree, and “planta de los pies” means “the sole of the feet.” ¿Por qué está tan feliz la escoba? Porque ba-rriendo. Why is the broom so happy? Because it’s sweeping. (“Barriendo” means “sweeping” and sounds like “va riendo,” which means “it’s laughing.”) ¿Qué dijo el Viejo MacDonald cuando tuvo una hija? Hi-ja Hi-ja Oh. What did Old MacDonald say when he had a daughter? Hi-ja Hi-ja Oh. (A Spanish twist on “E-I-E-I-O” from the nursery rhyme “Old MacDonald Had a Farm.”) ¿Por qué el astronauta no pudo reservar una pensión en la luna? Porque estaba llena. Why couldn’t the astronaut book a pension on the moon? Because it was full. (Here, “llena” refers to the moon being full and a lodging place being fully booked.) ¿Cuántos peces caben en una ballena? Ninguno, ¡porque va llena! How many fish fit in a whale? None, because it is full. (Here, “ballena” means “whale,” and sounds like “va llena,” which means “goes full.” ¿Pesa más un pájaro de tres kilos o un bebé de tres kilos? El pájaro porque pesa tres kilos y pico. Which weighs more, a three-kilo bird or a three-kilo baby? The bird, because it weighs three kilos and a beak. (“Pico” means both “beak” and “a bit more.” ¿Cuál es el colmo de un peluquero? ¡Que le tomen el pelo! What’s the last straw for a barber? That they can be taken by the hair! (“Tomar el pelo” literally translates to “take the hair” and is a Spanish idiom that means someone is being cheated or mocked by someone else, like pulling the wool over someone’s eyes.) ¿Qué hacen los elefantes para ser elegantes? Cambian la F por la G. What do elephants do to be elegant? They change the F to G. (If you replace the F in “elefante” with a G, it becomes “elegante,” the Spanish word for “elegant.”) Papá, ¿por qué no tengo ni un iPhone, ni iPad, ni iPod? Porque no iDinero. Dad, why don’t I have an iPhone, iPad, or iPod? Because no iMoney. (Here, the “i” sounds like “hay,” which means “have.”) ¿Cómo se queda un mago después de comer? Magordito. How does a magician feel after eating? Magordito. (“Magordito” is a play on “mago,” which means “magician,” and “gordito,” which means “chubby.” Pepito, ¿por qué le das chocolate a las gallinas? ¡Para que pongan huevos de Pascua! Pepito, why are you feeding the hens with chocolate? So they can lay Easter eggs! Papá, ¿qué se siente tener un hijo tan guapo? No sé hijo, pregúntale a tu abuelo… Dad, what does it feel like to have such a handsome son? I don’t know, son. Ask your grandfather. ¿Qué le dijo un ganso a una gansa? ¡Ven-gansa! What did a male goose say to a female goose? Revenge! (Here, “venganza,” which means “revenge,” sounds a lot like “ven gansa,” which means “come, goose.” ¿Qué corre pero no puede caminar? ¡Agua! What runs but can’t walk? Water! ¿Qué le dice un jaguar inglés a otro? Jaguar you! What does an English jaguar say to another one? Jaguar you! (In Spanish, the letter J sounds like an H in English, so “jaguar you” sounds similar to “how are you?”) Pedrito, ¿qué planeta va después de Marte? Miércoles. Pedro, what planet comes after Mars? Wednesday. (Here, the Spanish word for Mars is confused with the Spanish word for Tuesday, “Martes.”)

Spanish Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock your friends’ socks off with a hilarious Spanish knock-knock joke. Who doesn’t love a goodknock-knock joke? These jokes are simple, family-friendly, and enjoyed across cultures. If you want to entertain someone who speaks Spanish, try one of the following knock-knock jokes: Toc toc. ¿Quién es? Abraham. Primero dime quién eres. ¡Abraham! No, hasta que digas quién eres. Knock knock. Who is it? Abraham. First, tell me who you are. Abraham! Not until you say who you are. (Here, “Abraham” sounds like “abran,” which means “open.”) Toc toc. ¿Quién es? Tomás. ¿Qué Tomás? Agua. Knock knock. Who is it? Tomás. Which Tomás? Water. (The name Tomás is similar to the verb “tomas,” which means “you drink.” When the second speaker asks, “Which Tomás?” it is confused for “What do you drink?”) Toc toc. ¿Quién es? Vendo uvas. Vale, y ¿pasas? Pues si me abre la puerta, también. Knock knock. Who is it? I sell grapes. Okay, and do you come in? Well, (I’ll sell) those, too, if you open the door. (“Pasas” means both “you come in” and “raisins” in Spanish. So when the second speaker asks the first to come inside, the first speaker thinks they’re asking if they sell raisins.) Toc toc. ¿Quién es? Lola. ¿Qué Lola? Lolandrones. Knock knock. Who is it? Lola. Which Lola? The thieves. (Here, “loladrones” is a play on “los ladrones,” which means “the thieves.”) Toc toc. ¿Quién es? La familia Silva. Lo hemos intentado varias veces, pero no logramos silbar. Knock knock. Who is it? The Silva Family. We’ve tried many times, but we can’t whistle. (“Silva” is a last name that sounds like “silba,” which is the verb “to whistle.” So, it sounds like the first speaker is asking the second speaker if their family can whistle.) Toc toc. ¿Quién es? Deletrea. ¿Deletrea quién? Okay: Q-U-I-É-N. Knock knock. Who is it? Spell. Spell who? W-H-O. (In Spanish, “deletrea” means spell, so it sounds like one speaker is asking the other to spell “quién,” which is the Spanish word for “who.”) Toc toc. ¿Quién es? Talanda. ¿Qué Talanda? Bien, ¿y usted? Knock knock. Who is it? Talanda. Which Talanda? Fine, and you? (“Qué Talanda” sounds like “¿qué tal anda?” which is a way of asking “How are you doing?”) Toc toc. ¿Quién es? Juan. ¿Qué Juan? ¡Juan, two, three! Knock knock. Who is it? Juan. Which Juan? Juan, two, three! (Here, “Juan” sounds like “one.”) Toc toc. ¿Quién es? Johnny. ¿Qué Johnny? Yo ni sé. Knock knock. Who is it? Johnny. Which Johnny? I don’t even know. (The name “Johnny” sounds like the first two words of the phrase “yo ni sé,” which means “I don’t even know.”) Toc toc. ¡Pase! ¡Ay, ya me arruinaste el chiste! Knock knock. Come on in! Ugh, you ruined my joke!