A man shared a photo of the Bengali delicacy “luchi” (puri in Hindi) on Twitter and touted it as the “expression of affection by women in Bengali households”. The statement drew criticism from Twitter users, given that most women in patriarchal societies perform hard unpaid labour in their households. Notwithstanding the “gratitude” from those who benefit from this labour, household chores are largely considered a woman’s “responsibility”, even if it’s a basic life skill like cooking or cleaning.
Sharing the photo, the Twitter user wrote, “Traditional yet widely prevalent expression of affection by women in Bengali households, largely reserved for son’s in law but also extended to children & siblings, mostly denied to husbands[sic].” Not only did it perpetuate the patriarchal norm, it also managed to once more use the devious but tired shtick of the “denied husband”, a phenomenon that occurs when a patriarchal husband’s sense of entitlement is refuted.
Not to belittle your sentiment, but this "affection of women" is often because of lack of choice and manipulation by normalising women's labour. If men had to fry one luchi/puri at a time for 5-6 family members (30-40 luchi in all), it would not remain a treat at most households https://t.co/Rkg6MDr8d4— Rituparna Chatterjee (@MasalaBai) September 7, 2022
The male entitlement of this ‘diplomat’ is astounding. The quoted tweets and responses are a blast. Probably didn’t expect his tweet to provide us with hours of entertainment.✨✨✨Hope he learns from this and starts cooking https://t.co/L1E5lBZVOd
— SRK_x10 (@010_srk) September 7, 2022
Husband doesn't have hands to make luchis?? The entitlement is nauseating https://t.co/aZUlSGTkal— Devlina دیولینا (@AarKiBolboBolo) September 7, 2022
This is exactly the kind of 'casual sexism' that we need to come out of. We men need to wake up everyday and evolve, so that our children never use such sentences to describe a woman and her feelings towards anything. This is not appreciation but conditioning. https://t.co/OhaVSNfnAj— J O J O (@bubblewrapster) September 7, 2022
I must have a lot affection for myself because when I crave a poori or luchi, I just make it. It's not that hard. ♂️♂️Stop trying to randomly attach chores to women in your lives that you can do yourselves. https://t.co/yOYbHQkVQO
— Gaurav Sabnis (@gauravsabnis) September 7, 2022
This criticism certainly signals a tiny step in the right direction.
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