How to Turn Things Around and Be Okay

Identify what you want to change about your life.

To fix things, you have to know what's wrong. For some people, this might be obvious—maybe you want to fix a friendship that's rocky—while it's harder for others to pinpoint. You might want to deal with your anger issues or empower yourself to stand up for yourself, for instance. By identifying the issues, you're on track for improving your life. For example, you might realize that you're unhappy with your job or that a long-term relationship isn't working out. You may focus on traits or habits that don't seem to be helping you like smoking or obsessing over social media. To help you, make a list of the things that make you feel defeated or stuck. Sure, it's not a fun list, but it will really help you turn your life around. Give yourself permission to feel and react to the challenges in your life. It's totally fine to feel upset, frustrated, or disappointed.

Accept your mistakes.

Acknowledge that your mistake doesn't define you. Instead, think of a mistake as a jumping-off point for improvement. No one's perfect so you shouldn't beat yourself up if things don't work out. Have you ever noticed that some people don't seem to care when they fail? It's not because they're flawless—they just accept the mistake and change what they're doing. Instead of thinking, "I'm such a screw-up. There's no way I can fix this," tell yourself, "I'm human. I made a mistake, but now I'll know what not to do and I can move on from this."

Set clear goals for yourself.

Find a goal and create manageable steps to achieve it. Turn your negative emotions into sources of energy so you can change. For instance, if you're struggling with positive body image, your goal might be to feel better about how you look. Don't worry if your goal seems too hard—you'll create ways to achieve them. Other goals might include getting a new job, moving to a new place, or running in a local race.

Break your goals into smaller steps.

List manageable actions that help you achieve your big goal. Think of this kind of like a to-do list with small steps. If you want to get your GRE, for instance, you won't just write "Take the GRE," you might put, "Take a course on passing the GRE," "Read a study guide," and "Take practice GRE tests," before you tackle the test itself. Reward yourself along the way and remember your ultimate goal so you stay motivated. Taking action can be empowering! You might find that your mental state improves just by having a plan for change.

Create a routine that makes you feel empowered.

Plan the things you need to do every day so you meet your goals. Most people have to do similar things each day. Maybe you have to get your kids to and from school, go to work, or hold meetings. Look at your daily routine and pencil in the small steps that you've identified. By making time to complete them, you'll be on track to meet your goals. For instance, if you're trying for your GRE, your routine might have 20-minute blocks of study time several times a week and a GRE class that you attend once a week.

Get outside of your comfort zone.

Put yourself in new situations so you can grow. A lot of people enjoy familiar routines and new experiences. After all, change can be pretty uncomfortable. However, if you want to turn your life around, recognize opportunities and seize them whenever you can. For example, if you hate talking in front of others, but you don't want to lose out on job opportunities that require you to speak at meetings, take a public speaking course.

Prioritize self-care.

Self-care is crucial for feeling better about your life. You have to feel empowered in order to make changes and you can't do that if you feel terrible. Find daily things or activities that nurture you. Obviously, this means different things for everyone, but some positive habits help a lot of people like: Exercising Eating healthy food Giving up harmful habits like drinking or smoking Meditating Having free time

Cultivate a positive mindset.

Do things that make you happy so you learn to cope. While we can't hide from problems or negative things in our lives, we can strengthen our outlook. If you focus on the good in a situation, you'll be more resilient at handling setbacks. You'll probably also have an easier time turning your life around. For example, some people benefit from meditation, yoga, journaling, or creating something like art or music. It might help to remind yourself of things that are going well for you. For instance, you might not have gotten that promotion, but you're still in a job that you love and you're financially secure.

Create a support network.

Keep lines of communication open with family and friends. This way, when things don't seem to be going right, you know you've got people to turn to. Whether you want a shoulder to cry on or just need some company while you're working through a tough time, a social network is critical. Don't forget to include people who care about you deeply. You might have a sister that you hardly talk to on a regular basis, but you know she'd be there for you in an instant if you needed her.

Reach out and help others.

Give support to others so you feel empowered. It's easy to focus on the direction of your life without really giving much thought to other people. Remind yourself that you can be a help to others who also need some support. In fact, you might feel more in control of your life and your mindset by volunteering or helping others. If you're not sure where to start, check-in with friends and family to see how they're doing. You can also find out if groups in your community need volunteers or assistance.

Remind yourself of your own strength.

It's easy to forget that you have the power to change. Give yourself credit for the things that are going right in your life. If you still don't like how things are going, readjust your plans and continue moving forward. Part of building resilience is being flexible with your mindset and goals. Did you miss one of your action steps? Maybe you didn't get to the gym every day this week like you wanted to. Instead of quitting completely, tell yourself that you can meet those goals going forward.

Be patient with yourself.

Remind yourself that change doesn't happen overnight. It's totally normal to feel frustrated when you're trying to turn your life around, but it's important to be compassionate with yourself. After all, you've acknowledged that you need to make changes and you're actively working on it! Remind yourself of all that you've achieved so far. You might look back at your action steps and check off the ones you've completed. Self-compassion is associated with improved mental and physical health.

Seek professional help if you're struggling.

Look for a therapist or life coach who can support you along the way. You may feel like you need more assistance than your support network can give and that's totally fine! Try working with a wellness professional who's trained in meeting goals and helping you find fulfillment. Keep in mind that life coaching doesn't include mental health care. A life coach won't ask you to discuss your past—instead, they'll focus on achieving specific goals.