How To Identify Unresolved Conflicts And Their Impact On Relationships

Relationships, whether within families, romantic partnerships, or elsewhere, inevitably encounter conflicts. Contrary to common belief, healthy discussions are vital for relationships as they bring diverse perspectives to light. Following conflict resolution, engaging in discussions and reaching compromises is crucial. Without this, parties might harbour bitterness, leading to a gradual drifting apart in their relationships.

In a recent Instagram post, relationship advisor Julia Woods emphasised that conflict itself isn’t the issue; rather, the challenge lies in not effectively resolving conflicts to foster growth and connection within relationships. She stated, “Do you find it refreshing to consider conflicts with your spouse are not the problem? The problem is you simply don’t know how to reconcile those conflicts, so they create growth and connection between you.”

5 Signs That You Are Not Reconciling A Conflict

Here are some signs that indicate you and your spouse aren’t reconciling a conflict:

1. Surrounded by Negative Emotions: Feeling negative emotions after a squabble or argument with your spouse is completely normal. However, failing to let go of negative emotions in post-conflict indicates a deficient reconciliation, obstructing the formation of a good relationship in the aftermath.
2. Confusion:After a conflict people often are confused on how to tackle the situation and fail to understand what actually went wrong. A post-conflict conversation is essential since failure to engage in one leads to confusion and people may not understand the words of the spouse.
3. Focused On The Wrongs: Typically, after a fight, people stay focused on their partner’s words or actions. However, it’s beneficial to focus on your actions or the way you respond every time you engage in a conversation with your partner. It helps to look back on one’s own words and actions and take responsibility for any mistakes made that could have been hurtful to the spouse.
4. Reiterating Past Conflicts:Revisiting past issues while addressing current conflicts is an indication that previous conflicts were not resolved satisfactorily and shows that they have not moved on from them till now. Therefore, you should resolve the issues from scratch, that is, right from where they started. This helps you maintain a healthy relationship with your loved one.
5. No Hope For Something New: After moving on from a conflict, people often lose hope and excitement for anything new that comes their way. Instead, it’s recommended to give your relationship a chance and explore new stuff to avoid monotonous situations.