How to Get a Girl's Attention

Getting Attention with Your Personality

Be funny without being crude. Everyone loves to laugh. Getting a girl to laugh can be a big part of getting (and keeping) her attention and winning her over. This doesn’t mean that you need to transform yourself into a Jim Carrey-like comedian, but it does mean that you need to figure out what kind of humor you are best at. It’s good to remember that you don’t have to be funny every second, but throwing some humor into a conversation is often a great way to get a girl interested in you. No matter what sort of humor you’re using, it's never good to wait for the girl to laugh. Quick, witty humor that only pauses for an instant is the way to go. If she thinks it’s funny, she’ll laugh. But don’t expect her to openly guffaw at your jokes--and never say something like “oh you didn’t think that was funny?” if she doesn’t laugh. That will just cause a serious amount of awkwardness to ensue. Do your homework. If you don’t feel like you are a naturally funny guy, watch comedians on TV or study the funny characters in movies. See how they deliver their jokes, but don’t memorize jokes and simply repeat them--that can come off as rather stiff and stilted. Use situational humors. While dishing out funny or witty one-liners can get a girl to giggle, try embellishing your humor but commenting on your situation or environment in a funny way. Laugh when you genuinely think something is funny. Avoid fake-laughing, as that is generally pretty easy to see through. A real, whole-hearted laugh can be a very attractive thing. Don’t use mean humor. While light teasing may be funny at first, use it sparingly. No girl wants to have a dude spend the entire night cutting her down with his words--even if he means it in a joking way. On the other hand, self-deprecating humor (humor that makes fun of yourself) can make a girl feel comfortable with you quickly because it shows her that you have enough confidence in yourself that you can easily make fun of yourself.

Do your best at whatever interests you. If you show passion for whatever you are involved in, chances are you will be catching more than a few female glances. Being passionate and good at something is attractive--it shows that you care about something other than yourself, you’re a hard worker, and you are passionate. It also shows that you have ambition--you don’t just want to be involved in something, you want to be the very best you can be. If you are on a sports team, work hard to be the star or team captain. If you are on debate club, give it your all to lead the debates. If you are in a photography or art class, don’t be afraid to show off your artistic side (and skill.) Don't hide what it is that you like. If you're happy, confident, and enthusiastic, people will start to get interested in what you’re interested in. Don't act like you hate what you actually like; just play it off like it's not a big deal and sell the really fun parts of what it is that you like.

Show her that you have some emotional depth. You don’t need to weep openly if a sad topic gets brought up, but make sure you are not an emotionless-robot when you are around her either. This means sometimes discussing how something made you feel. Saying things like “Oh man, that movie we watched in class today made me wonder how it must have felt to be trapped on the Titanic. It’s so scary and sad to think about” will show her that you have empathy--you can relate to how others are feeling, and feel things yourself.

Exhibit good manners. Most girls love guys who are polite and courteous. Don't do or say things that many people consider offensive, including swearing and making sexist/racist/etc. jokes or comments. If you act like a gentleman, demonstrating your respect for women and other people in general, girls will be more likely to welcome your company. Saying things that you know would probably offend some people isn't a good way to make or keep friends. It might look "cool" to your guy friends, but it's a real turnoff to most girls. It's easy to diss something; it's much harder to believe in something. Be a man and believe in something.

Show her that you have a sense of adventure. You don’t have to be the captain of a ship, or a world-class mountain climber--but you should be up for almost anything. Invite her on hikes, camping trips, a day out in the city nearest you. Go with the flow if you are hanging out with her and something exciting gets brought up.

Respect all girls equally. You stand a much better chance of making a good overall impression if you treat girls that don't interest you just as nicely as those that do. This doesn't mean that you need to talk to or flirt with every girl, but don't ignore them or treat them dismissively. You never know when a girl is going to suddenly get attractive, or who she'll become friends with. The best bet is to treat them all the way you would want to be treated. Don't talk to a girl about another girl's attractiveness; it's distasteful and can degrade the girl's opinion of herself. Plus, it's just easy to accidentally say the wrong thing, or say something you didn't mean. Stick to talking about other girls with your guy friends. You generally shouldn't talk about past relationships you've had, or other girls that potentially interest you with the girl you are most interested in. No girl wants to have to compare herself to your past relationships, and she really doesn't want you to compare her to them either. Make her feel like she's the only girl in your universe, and the universe will smile kindly on you.

Be attentive. When you talk to a girl, give her your full attention. Listen carefully to what she says, and you may learn a lot about her and discover interests that you have in common. Ask her lots of questions. This will signal to her that you're genuinely interested in her apart from her looks. Ask her what activities she likes, what music she’s into, what movies she’s seen recently. Ask her about her family, her aspirations and hopes. Any question that is sincerely and respectfully asked is game. Give her time to speak. If you ask her questions, give her time to express herself, and don't feel bad if she's talking a lot. Remember, her talking a lot is a good sign!

Be confident in yourself. Confidence is a big turn on for most girls. If you walk with your head held high, don’t hesitate when discussing something that you know a lot about, or simply walk up to a girl without hesitation, you will get noticed. Know that you are an awesome guy--when you display confidence in yourself, it shines through and girls will notice. Bear in mind that you should not be too cocky. Confidence and cockiness are actually separate things. When you are confident, you have faith in yourself without holding it over others. When you are cocky, you are confident and you want everyone (really everyone) to know it. Cockiness can be a turn off for girls. They want someone who believes in himself without letting everyone know how awesome he is, all the time.

Getting Attention with Your Actions

Make eye contact. If you want a girl to notice you, start by noticing her first. Whether you are in class or at a bar, eye contact is a key part of getting a girl’s attention. Glance at her, but when she sees you looking, look away. Repeat this and then hold eye contact for a moment and throw in a smile if you feel like its the right time to do so, then look away again. Doing this will arouse her interest, and will also hint to her that you are interested. If she is interested too, she will keep glancing at you to see if you’re still glancing at her. It's a cycle that will clue her in to the fact that you are interested. If she doesn’t hold eye contact with you, or if she chooses not to glance back at you, she is either very shy, or not interested. You will have to use other methods listed in this article to determine which one it is. When you talk with girls, try as hard as possible to keep consistent eye contact with her. This tells her that you're really confident, and that you're paying really close attention to her.

Act like a gentleman around girls. Girls tend to have a different humor and perspective than guys, so being aware of and sensitive to these differences is important when it comes to getting (and keeping) a girl’s attention. Do common things that are gentlemanly, like opening the door for a girl, letting her cut you in line, and saying "excuse me." Doing the small things is really easy, and girls pay attention to them much more than guys do. Don't make really sexual jokes or comments. Girls already think that guys are obsessed with sex, so don't make it worse by being obsessed with sex. Be mature and respectful about sexual matters, at least when you're around girls, and you'll definitely get a girl's attention. EXPERT TIP Connell Barrett Connell Barrett Dating Coach Connell Barrett is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation in New York City. Connell has over five years of experience as an international coach who helps men connect with women by unlocking their best, true, most confident selves. He is the author of the Amazon bestseller “Dating Sucks but You Don’t,” and has appeared on Good Morning America, the "Today" show, Access Hollywood, and in Best Life, Cosmopolitan, and The Oprah Magazine. In 2019 he was named Datezie.com's “New York City’s Best Male Dating Coach." Connell Barrett Connell Barrett Dating Coach Expert Trick: One way to act like a gentleman is to imagine that a person you respect (like a parent or other adult) is nearby and can see what you're up to. Don't do or say anything that you wouldn't want them to see, and try to do things that would make them proud.

Don't treat women like objects or talk about them like they're inferior. It sounds basic, but a lot of guys assume women may not notice, or care, when men treat them like they are lower than men. This is completely wrong, and it won't make you very many friends among girls. Think before you speak negatively about girls as a whole. As a rule of thumb, pretend that your grandparents are in front of you whenever you say something about girls--it will keep you from saying anything too inappropriate.

Act relaxed around girls. Even if you are all jittery on the inside, keeping a cool and calm demeanor around girls will give them the impression that you are a confident, easy-to-hang-out-with guy. When you are tense or nervous, you're more prone to feeling embarrassed if you make some minor mistakes. This is a turn-off for most girls. Staying calm allows you to fully enjoy a girl's company, stay confident, and show her the real you. Staying confident is hard, but try to imagine that the girl you're trying to impress is just a friend. You wouldn't be nervous around a friend, so why be nervous around her? If you're confident and manage to look cool and calm, you'll scream popular. Her attention will be yours in no time.

Smile like you mean it. A smile is the universal sign of happiness. If you show people in general, and her specifically, that you're a happy guy, she'll want to be closer to you. Girls love guys who have a good sense of humor and can smile easily. Smile often, be lighthearted and unabashedly yourself.

Help someone. It could be her, or it could be someone else in the room. Helping others says that you are humble, and that you're a genuinely nice person. Be a kind and generous person. Not only will it get her attention, but it will also make you feel good about yourself. Girls are attracted to guys that have empathy for others--be the guy that helps her carry a heavy box and she won’t forget it. Is she carrying something heavy? Say "Let me help you with that" and carry it for her. Hold the door for her when she is carrying a lot of stuff. Give her your jacket when she is cold or offer to share your umbrella with her when it is raining. Is someone short on cash? Lend them a few dollars so they can eat lunch. Don't be fake and do nice things only when she's around. Help people all the time, in a wide variety of ways. She'll notice, and so will the people she knows, and on the occasions that you come up in a conversation, people will say "He's such a great person!" and this girl will start thinking "Yeah...he is, isn't he?" One thing that holds many guys back is being scared that she'll misinterpret you. For example, you might not want to help her carry something because you're worried she'll think you're a macho guy, and you're implying that she can't carry it herself. But push the fear aside and think about what you're really doing. You're just helping her because you genuinely want to, and what could possibly be wrong with that? If you're not trying to question her ability in any way, then she's not a very nice girl for assuming that you are, is she? If what you're doing comes from the heart, a decent girl will see that.

Offer a sincere compliment. For example, you could say she has beautiful eyes or a beautiful smile. But, only say things like that if you want it to be obvious that you intend on moving beyond flirting. Select something good that is reserved for her only; it will make her feel wonderfully special, admired, and beautiful.

Include girls in your activities. When you're doing something and it's only guys, be brave and include the girls you want included. You don't have to do this all the time (sometimes it's important to have time with your guy friends), but don't be afraid to add some girls to the mix. If boys call you out, you know they're jealous that they didn't have the courage to invite the girls. There's no reasons why girls can't be a part of your group.

Find ways to make physical contact with the girl whose attention you are trying to get. Physical contact can be a great way to create sparks between you and that special girl. However, don’t make it obvious that you are going out of your way to be near her--that might creep her out if she doesn’t know you are into her. Do subtle things, like touching her arm when she says something that makes you laugh. If she has an eyelash or a fuzzy on her face (or even if she doesn’t) lean in, make eye contact, and slowly brush it from her cheek (but be gentle!)

Getting Attention with Your Appearance

Groom yourself. Depending on your style, this step can vary a lot but the basics are this: Take showers regularly and brush your teeth. Those are the absolute basics, but they will still go a long way in improving your chances of getting that special girl’s attention. No one wants to cuddle up to a dude who smells like B.O. and has breakfast stockpiled in his teeth. Bust out that body wash and invest in a great toothbrush. Beyond the basics, there are a lot of ways that guys can groom themselves so that they look their best. Hair mousse can turn your fuzzy bedheaded look into a subtly sculpted thing of beauty. Don’t put gobs of mousse on your head though--grease hair can be a turn off for some girls. If you’re rocking a beard, keep it in check. Some women really dig facial hair, but even the manliest of beards can go the way of Rip Van Winkle’s absurdly long beard if they are not properly maintained. Invest in a beard trimmer. Aside from beard sculpting, take a good look at the rest of your body hair. Pluck that unibrow, clip those nose hairs, and keep any ear hair you might have to a minimum. Most girls--even ones that love beards--balk at excessive hair in other places besides your chin, chest, and more private parts. Clip your nails. Girls often notice hands, so make sure yours don’t look like they might belong to Big Foot. Cut off those talons and scrape any dirt out from under your nails. Moisturize. While this may seem like an unmanly thing to do, when you have the girl of your dreams on your arm, you will not want that arm to be dry and flakey. Use lotion to give your skin a softness that she won’t be able to resist touching.

Keep your wardrobe in mind. Everyone has their own style, and that is completely fine, but its really best to avoid the ‘slob’ style. Don’t wear sweatpants every day of the week, and try to change your shirt before heading out of your house each day. Apart from that, try to keep in mind that girls like when guys put a bit of effort into their look, even if that just means throwing on a stylish flannel, tightish pants, and a pair of rocking thick-rimmed glasses (see How to be a Hipster.) If you are trying a catch a gal’s eye who happens to work at your place of employment, try to play up your professionalism. Invest in some classy suits and some great ties. If you don’t know how to do that, enlist the help of your best girl friend.

Be aware of your body language. Posture plays a big part in how women perceive guys. If a guy is hunched over in a corner, avoiding eye contact and not talking with anyone, they are most likely not going to walk over and start a conversation. Stand up straight, make eye contact, and smile. Keep in mind that you want to have good posture, but you don’t want to make it weirdly obvious that you’re standing up super straight. Carry yourself with ease. If you don’t know how to carry yourself with ease, look at your role models. Watch lead guys in movies who manage to charm their ways into the lead girls’ hearts. Keep her body language in mind too. If she's shifting her weight a lot and not making eye contact, she's probably uncomfortable. It may be the conversation topic, how close you are standing or sitting next to her, or something else. Respect her feelings, and change the subject or step back, if necessary, depending on what is bothering her.

Keep your body in shape. While you are probably a great guy, it is important to remember that some girls really like guys who work out. Plus, the gym is a great place to catch the attention of that special girl. If you want to attract that drop dead gorgeous girl you’ve been crushing on, you have to keep your physique in good condition too. Start an exercise routine that includes cardio and weight training so that you can both buff up your muscles, and get in incredible shape. Keep in mind that most women like a toned guy, but are not attracted to a dude who looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger when he was Mr. Universe. If you are having a hard time raising your hand in class because your muscles are about to rip through your shirt, it may be time to tone the weight-lifting down a bit.